Escorting Ensemble

Scribe Notes

Summary

Adventure: Escorting Ensemble
GM: William
Season: Spring 794WK

Party

• Scorpion, Human Namer (Scribe) - Anna
• Tharon Darksinger, Human Necromancer - Craig
• Thorn, Human Fighter (Helen)
• Thulrandir, Elf Fighter (Dorsai)
• Balode the Goblin, Orc Fighter/Mind Mage (Eamon)
• Rockbottom, Dwarf Necromancer? (Muggins?)
• Arwen, Human Earth Mage (Simon)
• Doorwatcher, Dwarf Necromancer (David)
• Casper, halfling Necromancer? (Valium)

Time on adventure

tbc 826 WK to tbc 826 WK

Employer

Micheal Halsek Valmar

Mission

Get to Tiran Fasthold and escort Ensemble, the halfling prophet of catastrophe, to the Thane.

Original Scribe Notes

Media:Snsu9504.zip

Summary

Summary: had to go to tiran fasthold and get ensemble, 1/2ling prophet of catastrophe, to thane. Also watch out for dark wicca. Succeeded in spite of incompetance. If this is what it takes to impress micheal halsek valmar then he must know some really sorry fuckwits from the guild.

Mission diary

Ed. Original was in ALL CAPS. Scorpion's idiosyncratic phrasing remains all original.

Thurs 31 March

greenskin did these bits. Don't blame me for Anything missing. Had guild meeting. Hired by micheal halsek Valmar. Prat. Joined up: me (Scorpion), Tharon Darkie, thorn (piece of ass), Thulrandir (elf fuckwit), Balode the greenskin and Rockbottom (dwarf). Elf got leader, greenskin got scribe. Had to go to tiran fasthold (dwarf land) and get ensemble, 1/2ling prophet of catastrophe, to thane. Also watch out for dark wicca, or something. Fuckwit greenskin didn't think details were important. Got 900 sp each in advance. Bought some armour etc., and a piece of ass.

Fri 1 april

get back at lunchtime and we all take off. Tell some fuckwit in a box to rot in hell. Phaeton something. Guide to dwarf lands = daniel.

Sat 2 - Sun 3

greenskin only wrote down menu. Fuckwit. Not that we did anything interesting.

Mon 4

got to dimension door: tree. That night met galatians, zentrani spirit warriors going to princess colloquial in issalith.

Tues 5

go through. Something about time diff., fucked if I can remember.

Wed 6

go through swamp. Run into: Called elf "death of worlds". Get out of swamp and take off Leaches. I take over scribe 'cause greenskin gets sick. Prob., clap. Elf chickens out as leader, becomes military scientist, Darkie takes over. Big fucking mistake. Yours truly tries to sneak up on group of orcs in marquee. See orc in ballgown, Mentions vabor. Get knocked cold by something. Fucked if I volunteer to do the heroic stuff again.

Thurs 7

greenskin still fucked so dwarf cooks worlds worst oatmeal. Me in hangover city. Adventurerkins sing whilst yomping. Fuckwits. Get to mountains and poor Darkie catches a cold. Nursie thorn leaps to his rescue. If I tell her I got the clap I bet she don't put soothing herbs on it.

Fri 8

get told there are no black dragons in the mountains, but There are goblins, ghouls and griffins. Oh yay. Meet Mental dwarf miner. Darkie, the great necromancer, avoids death and killing. Fucking wally. Follow dwarf road. At night elf gets a growth which Darkie chews.

Sat 9

party demonstrates they do have a braincell between them by leaving a worthless rock to it's goblin guardians. Later get divebombed by griffins. I demonstrate survival tactics, followed too late by heroes. Elf got munched. Rest got beaten up. Bastard birdie then had a go at me and flew off. Darkie Went bonkers and kept fighting nothing. Personal note: next time run faster. Gathered remains and staggered to gatehouse. Got through fucking dwarf customs: "anything to declare?" "yeah sure, i'm fucking dying". Stayed at dwarf hotel, bought some dwarven spirits and got plastered. Told later that Darkie and Balode got taken to healer. Darkie had shard removed but Balode has cursed sword so won't get better that easily. Tough.

Sun 10

got alcohol poisoning from those spirits. Pretty fucked so purchased healing potion from Darkie. Doorwatcher (dwarf) delivered by vulture express. Catch carriage to tierin. First stop corain. Griffin cruising at 10 000 feet gives party the willies. Party ignores first contact with catastrophe cult until one brilliant light in the darkness goes and questions them. Find out that ensemble is in astara for a cult gathering. It's easy when you know how. They have great wine, too. Bit of fun that night.

Mon 11

run into witch in middle of road. Name samantha. Darkie chats her up, didn't think I was capable. Told not to upset volis. That night Darkie grabbed for rape of a 1/2ling. Quote thorn: "doesn't seem like a necrologists thing, interfering With live hobbits". Spent night in stable avoiding overenthusiastic 1/2ling lynch mobs. More cultists go through at night: midget hare krishna ninjas.

Tues 12

party escorted back to corain (except for me, still avoiding unnecessary complications) and Darkies alibi got Established with freeman dougall. Got fucking cold staying night in hills. Saw cultists dancing around waving weapons at night.

Wed 13

spoke to samantha while waiting for return of party. Considers catastrophe cult mindless, but god is real to them. Nothing else new. Still fucking cold. Took bath at next stop to warm up and early night. Rest of them goes to cultist life party. Doorwatcher gets lucky. Darkie and thorn try but ardour quenched by lightning storm blowing cultists to smithereens. Thurs ===Thurs 14=== sick with fever. Darkie goes back to blasted field and summons a ghoul. Then discovers he can understand dwarf and 1/2ling after wishing for the ability from a cultist. Worries About the philisophical implications, instead of what happens when cultists can grant wishes. Fuckwit. Get to tierin and Introduced to thane. Darkie asks what names we want to be known by and then gives mine away. Fuckwit. Put in order for Main gauche as payment. Herbalist gives me something for the fever. Great joke for the party. Fuckwits.

Fri 15

Balode reckons he can take over scribe again so I tell him To fuck off. Guild security turns up and drops off a piece of ass called arwen and gets us to sign party agreement. Get horses. Go back to tafron valley and the blasted field. Corn growing in the hit bits at 5 times natural rate. Human cultist Darkie was chatting up and who granted the wish = merrica.

Sat 16

early morning 1/2ling broad killed/ died? With no apparent cause. Guy named merrick makes himself scarce. Subtle as me. Head towards astara, get ambushed on the way by a bunch of dwarves headed by a maniac with a mattock who were looting a wagon surrounded by unmarked corpses. Nearly wiped out: I went Down leading the big guy away from the greenskin. Fuckwit Couldn't get his act together. Darkie graciously decided to Take one last shot at the mattock-wielder before leaving us For the crows, gets lucky and kills the bastard. Revives a Couple, loads the rest of us on the wagon with loot and finishes trip to astara. Pretty fucked: kept slipping in and out of conciousness and the babes wouldn't heal me. Got 200 gs bounty for killing black bart plus 178 sp, 2 short swords, 2 75 lb crossbows, 1 mattock (magical, I think), 1 spear, 1 Battleaxe, 1 handaxe, 10 daggers, 6 dwarf size hard leather Armour and one wagon full of grain. Late night some dwarf Healer cleaned up my infections (not the clap, though)

Sun 17

booted awake by fuckwit dwarf guards. Necrophiles lock Themselves away to have intercourse with bandit bodies. Get some clues to hideout for future reference. Ask Darkie. Greenskin gets bombed on mushrooms so I fuck off to town and run into merrica. Tells me ensemble is in astara valley and Invites me along. Describes catastrope as him/ her/ it. Manage To convince brave adventurers to continue mission. Arwen deigns to heal me up so I don't die on the way. Joined by merrick as we leave town = brother and sister (so they say). Try to get a piece of merrica but Darkie interrupts. Fuckwit. Catastrophe cult: aims: to spread wealth, to make life productive, live, grow. Life force increased by catastrophies eg lightning storms (great p.r. - cult appears intrinsically stupid). Suggest redirection of life energies could result in Bodies with no marks. Apparently merrick can do this. Fucking marvellous. M & m demonstrate mind magics, just as icing on the cake. Balode reckons m & m are thick demons. Stayed at inn in astara valley. Getting stir crazy.

Mon 18

see ensemble at ampitheatre = psychologically challenged goblin made honourary 1/2ling. Accompanied by merrica. Carries special staff with writhing symbols stolen from dragon hoard. Greenskin reckons it looks like logrin = dark powers. Speculation m & m (d.a = long lived sentients) related to dragon somehow. Ensemble declares a cult raid on the rest of the dragons treasure and the fuckwits running the party decide To accompany him. Make another move on merrica at camp and she Does me over: picks me up by the throat with one hand. Not Fucking human. Fuckwits ignore implications and say to her "please don't do it again".

Tues 19

bombed by guild sec., delivering 1/2ling (casper). fuckwits. Darkie: "well, that was impressive". Fuckwit. Ensemble forgets mission so Darkie reminds him. Fuckwit. Pass slagged knight. Try to make some deal with m & m with Balode: They're jumpy of dragons but otherwise cagey.

Wed 20

quote greenskins notes: "Darkie proposes a brilliant suicide - grab the 1/2ling and run. Truly well thought out. "fuckwits" - says scorpo. Why?". Dragon awake and firing, fuckwits finally beginning to question wisdom of planned raid. Ask for volunteers: "i volunteer to go in first" - Thulrandir, Followed by 3 others. Complete fuckwits. Something blasted From cave in flames. Demonstrate survival tactics while Wannabe suicides advance to investigate. Dead demon or something. Hear two voices screeching in cave. Ensemble runs forward to ask dragons to leave, pursued by heroes. Red dragon Blasted from cave, followed by green. Heroes sneak in while Fight continues outside. Get chased out by returning green (quote Rockbottom: "ow ow ow ow porridge ow ow ow ow") and report no treasure, only a throne to broadbutt the ancient or Something and a pile of dead red and green demons. M & m were retained for questioning. I pick up demons sword, magical Nature = binding, and we fuck off. Fuckwits get prophet to Wish for faster journey to tiran so he does and we sink underground. Eventually we exit via a cliff face. Rockbottom celebrates by backfiring. Stars all wrong at night - in the dreamlands.

Thurs 21

Darkie starts talking to plants. Fruitcake. "the bard" appears, comments: not many alive in the dramlands, and was Otherwise an asshole. Get to vaneer, with manor house. Gardner = ghoul. All villagers = ghouls. Stay night in ghoul pub, screwing ghoul whore (dara: I recommend her) with Balode as bodyguard.

Fri 22

wake up in an orc pub in liera, mishrak. Darkie attempts to get us killed by telling the clientelle that ensemble is worth 1000's of s.p. Fuckwit. Tell them we're pacted to a demon and scare some off but guard move cautiously forward. Manage to leave without a fight. Darkie steals a horse while greenskin says his sword wanted a fight. Get to river, going stir crazy again. Ensemble decides to leave, and me and some others try To help him (magical coercion), changes his mind, then changes his mind again. Get him tied down.

Sat 23

going really stir crazy. Greenskin fixes me some mulled whiskey. Have visitation from naming succubus/ demon. She gives me a name then the wildest sex i've had ever. Absolutely fucking amazing.

Sun 24

"we seem to have picked up a professional tail... And we Can't seem to lose it as easily": Thulrandir. What that Fuckwit elf knows about professional tail could probably be Written on his maidenhead. Balode and me make ourselves scarce as a knight and 4 flunkies check the party over. Pass town of delmars.

Mon 25

crasis to vilan. Healer from sat 9 april = carrich. Reckons death of worlds reference related to drowstory.

Tues 26

part of carrich's dark beastie visits elf. Took it back in person. Demon sword connected to dragons - dragon binding? Gives us shadow wings to fly down. Need practise. Disguise ensemble in red.

Wed 27

leave south to avoid corain. Buzzed by demon thing - not as dead as we thought. D.a. = dragon newt. Had come to retrieve Sword, fuckwits bravely backed off as I gave it to him. Name = surinek, is a mind mage in employ of rilena the female red dragon. Knew nothing of m & m. Told us rilena is pro- mortals having magic, was fighting killery the male green dragon who is anti-. Tried to deal with surinek using the staff as bait; he identified it as a spirit staff of catastrophe, an old god. Couldn't come to any agreement so he buggered off. Decided all ensembles power came from the staff so all agree to test its abilities. Give it to Balode who decides to summon a goblin for his sword to snack on. He summons a horde. Then he charges into them. Fuckwit. Rest of party (except me) follows. Fuckwits. I bugger off to arrange an avalanche ambush to cover Inevitable retreat. Fuckwits don't retreat and start to get cut down. Ensemble tries to do a runner but is nabbed by Darkie. I enter fray to cover the greenskin and goblins Eventually wiped out. I grab staff and go to check on Greenskin, who got mauled, and he disappears. Shit. Only other real person in the party. We got: 13 short swords, 1 handaxe, 6 slings and numerous bullets, 1 dead rat, bone necklace, 12 Shields (red circle, white middle, grinning goblin face), 18 sp, 1/2 gs, 13 cp, 1 black spiked glove (magical). Darkie just had to have intercourse with the bodies. Didn't do him any good. Stayed night at dwarf place.

Thurs 28

ensemble escaped in night. Track him down to pub and recapture him. Rabble a bit stirred up. Darkie avoids redan where he was taken for questioning mon 11 april. He wanted to "avoid all possibility of mischance". I reckon he was avoiding Temptation. Balode rejoins us p.m. Had no coherent story so Ignored him. Griffin flies over. Darkie: "it would make an Awesome mount, wouldn't it?". Reckon he's still suffering temptation. Ensemble strapped papoose-style to greenskin. Doorwatcher gets sudden stomach cramps and falls off his horse, then gets suddenly better. Reckon he must've farted. And speaking of bad smells, m & m turn up wanting ensemble. Try to make a deal, but then they're chased off by some antichaos knight called alexander. Quote: "do not mess with the children of filantrae". Whatever that is. M & m = awakened powers of chaos, attached to foci (probably staff; we didn't show it to him...). Slept that night outside tefron.

Fri 29

doorwatcher gets message. Go through tefron, greenskin tries to arrange sword for thorn on the way. Fuckwit. Bloody near engaged. Go a bit stir crazy but get out without Incident. Tieron late p.m. Fuckwits get all dollied up for the Thane, then use cantrips to get me dollied up. Big fucking Joke. Give whole ensemble to thane. Valmar apparently impressed (see summary). Prat. Get bonus, so me and greenskin Go get some ass. Get back to pub and samantha is in. Gave her something and offered my services.

Sat 30

picked up dwarf-made weapons for payment as agreed thurs 14 april. Took 11 days to get back to guild. No incident.