A Diplomatic Undertaking

Scribe Notes

Summary

Adventure: A Diplomatic Undertaking
GM: Eamon Zink
Season: Summer 796 WK

Party

• [[Scorpion!}Scorpion]], Human Namer (Anna) - Scribe
• Thorn, Human Fighter. (Helen S)
• Thulrandir, Elf Fighter(Dorsai)
• Eidolon, Male, Solar (Andrew W)
• Dimitri, Human Mind Mage (Anthony)
• Sir Agrivane, Human Fighter (Francis)
• Arwen Human Earth Mage (Simon)
• Kayseri, Human Illusion (Rosemary)

Time on adventure

Dec 1995 TO March 1996 (IRL)

Employer

Hired by diplomatic representatives of the free city of Salamakar, an off-planar trading city.

Original Scribe Notes

Media:Snsu9602.zip

Scribe Notes

Ed. The original was in ALL CAPS. Case irregularities remain.

Mission objective

Hired by diplomatic representatives of the free city of salamakar, an off-planar trading city who have just Discovered a portal to elusia and hope to include her in their trade network, to act as go-betweens for the orc ruling classes to a subversant element of the human slave caste in the city. Main Objective, revealed late, is to tame the black market for nobs, Instead of current scheme of trying to destroy it. Do this by Offering the rebs a portal to untamed grasslands named echelon, which would take about a decade to cultivate with bare tools, with trade agreements in place for when they're established.

Our employers

Backrun Dal'tosh, (Backrun is the title of the Ruling classes), a young ork nob undertaking a coming of age mission by planning a (by their standards) radical new approach to the problem of human unrest, device = a fanged eye, possibly pacted - evidence = concealed bat found in his quarters onboard ship; lord diplomat emmanual asante, elf assistant and representative to Dal'tosh, in their words a sacata = an information courier and Broker (very probably a spy, very adept at surprise attack and surreptitious operations), and a member of the merchant/ diplomat/ policing classes comprised of elves and dwarves in the city; jaquilo, human slave to dal'tosh. All could speak elusian. Offered trade goods (embargo) worth 300 - 700 sp each, dependant on market, and any treasure we find in the underground of the city, left there by the progenitors of the orginal city. All men proved to be fair, concerned and helpful (whatever their motives), and i'd work for them again, though be careful of hidden complications such as the fact that our mission was dal'tosh's idea, as his test of manhood, And not necessarily what anyone else in the court would support or even approve of. Politics can be a bastard.

Geography

The city is approached through a cross-planar tunnel running from the seas of elusia to a spherical inland sea. Do not cast anything around the vortex, and watch that first step. Climate is hot. Mana diminished zone. It's been carved layer by layer on top of itself out of rock, with roads on roofs and passageways winding deep below the uppermost level. In short, its a fucking rabbit warren. Nobs are quartered at the top of the heap, with the imperial palace at the highest, most central point, obvious in approach by its metal domes and unusual architecture. Approach to the palace grounds is by a wide road which runs through the city from the docks, but the palace proper is protected by walls carved out of the rock and passable only through a long tunnel with lots of nasty murder holes along its length (or flight, more of that later). The throne room is a magical null zone, but the magical defenses on the throne dias seem to work just fine. Dungeons are deep, dark and damp, well below the palace. Is at least one secret trapdoor entrance from the sewers at sea level. Not recommended as a holiday spot. Middle levels are merchants quarters, lots of shops decorated by brightly coloured awnings, and lots of street stalls run by humans. At night streets lit by some magic, also some of the stoneworks glow. Lots of activity after dark. Dock level and undercity populated mostly by humans.

The people

The emperor and ruling class are tall, well proportioned orcs with a greenish colouration, emperor himself is black, dwarves and elves comprise the merchant and diplomatic caste, and also the police corps, and humans are bondsmen and slaves (with some rebels). Life expectancy about twenty working years, die of "feebleness" and "inability to continue working".

Humans sometimes imported to keep up numbers. There are some exceptions: we saw some elves and dwarves in the same ranks as humans, some humans apparently employing themselves etc, just not much. Magic restricted to craftsmen, adventuring magic only available to the imperial guard (police) and the nobs.

Nobs also have imperial namers. Rebels supposedly have very few magic users. The police: elves wear light blue with black harness, all but one in each squad armed with a long bow and whip, both of which being made of some kind of segmented metal of iron alloy. Last man carries no iron. Guess. Dwarves wear blood red with black harness, armoured with black armour, helmets and spiked gauntlets, and carry spears made completely of iron alloy that reach three times the height of a stunty. Observed technique: dwarves lower spears and run at enemy in ranks five men deep, and anything living that comes out the other end is assaulted by the elves with those fucking whips. Prisoners are chained to posts, then collected up and chained to each other, frogmarched to holding barracks/ prison (bad time to try to talk to each other), and slowly processed. Could be faster if there are less then a thousand rebels to deal with.

Custom

in court

dress for females tends to skimpy pieces of cloth carefully positioned to show almost everything a man could hope For. Didn't notice what the men were wearing. Court attire was expected. Most present carried weaponsmithed weapons openly, and knew how to use them, missile weapons were frowned upon. Understand dueling is accepted way of dealing with insult, (unauthorised drawing of weapons direct ticket to dungeon) also appeared to be some kind of ritualistic hand wrestling duel done by male orcs to establish pecking order. Otherwise peace kept by palace guard (dwarves and elves). There is no casting of any kind in the vicinity of the emperor on pain of death. If addressed by the Emperor, bow from waist to almost 2 o'clock and address him as emperor. Otherwise was pretty much as i imagined court to be with lots of politicking, verbal backstabbing, obvious alliances and long waits for his imperial greenskinned majesty to get around to hearing what you're there for. Human presence very unusual; be prepared for snide comments you're not allowed to answer back to.

humans

male slaves tend to wear the uniforms of their jobs, females tend not to be workers but homekeepers and wear brightly coloured low quality cloth, veils and obvious jewelery, which denotes marriage. Small household effects, a woman and his children are a man's only possessions, ownership of which passes on to the man's slayer. A woman who cannot give a man children is worthless. Keeping faith appears to have some worth. Saw inside of one human habitation: single room, partitioned with screens. Only furniture = chest of household effects and a brazier (belonging to house). Walls all painted with murals, sleeping mats on floor, as clean as possible. Could be typical or could be result of completely unreasonable bitch who lived there.

general

if you are considered a guest, in any sense of the word, then you are sacrosanct, and harm to you is considered harm to the host. A human was killed for fighting with me when i went out looking for it.

Enemies

the Jabaku

pirates who sail around in enormous black frigates accompanied by nasty storms attacking defenseless adventurers with catapults. Are guided to their targets by an "eye" invested with Totem magic planted by jabaku spies (our eye was the device of Dal'tosh on the front of the ship which had been doctored.) Can also cast or call snowstorms and some kind of freezing torpedo. All jabaku minions, including zombie-like monsters, controlled by the magic of the captain. So also is the reality of the ship, we discovered when i killed him and it disappeared with crew. The Captain was a gaunt, diseased-looking bastard with white eyes surrounded by four chanting lackeys. Apparently immune to paralysation poison. He had a black ball in each hand and his fingers had extended and fused over them to form a living cage. These balls are magical, d.a.= summons something, one makes you Powerchuck poison, the other makes you blind, but it has some advantages. Wounds done by jabaku nasties very likely to be infected.

the Ashatell

elven nasties (pirates) who rowboat around attacking defenseless adventurers with plant magic. Found a glass ball with an eye floating in it, when broken grew a great big offensive asparagus. Susceptable to cooking.

the Chaldak

dwarven nasties (pirates) who would have rammed the defenseless adventurers given half a chance.

Destiny

gutless pirates who took one look at the others and ran off. Fuckwits got us on the return journey.

the Rebels

most are easily stirred up rabble not worth a fart in a fight. Have been given religion, "the unifier", symbol an "x" on a stick, to get them going easily. The unifier, the one true, Speaks through the prophets of the three: lords of change, Destruction and creation. Have promised the rabble they will get back their will, become free men again etc. Usual crap to stir up The downtrodden. Reckon get the prophets and it'll stop. Dal'tosh reckons the instigators may be off-plane imports. Holy men unfortunately saw need to hire less devout but less fickle helpers in the shape of off-planar mercs. Orlix's lot, much respected by the rebels. At attack on the throneroom we saw approx. 25, mostly older human, one giant. All dressed in worn, heavily greased heavy leather armour, gothic appearance, with ragged chain. Lots of big weapons, specialised meleeists, suicide troopers, seemed content just to cause fleshwounds on most. No religious symbols, just lots of accessories, e.g. Grenadoes of sticky fire. Used magical "portal" for entrance, also entrance apparently from shadows and more mundanely through the skylights. When killed, or when unable to escape back through the portal at the signalled end of the attack the bodies turned to piles of dust with a blue flash. Anyone caught in this goes too. Suspect limited lifetime. Supposedly no Support for rebs from higher nobs but was a rumour that some of Dal'tosh's enemies may be connected with the religion. Rebels do Have some access to portals so are considered rich. Main problem orcs have with rebels is they get 20% of all profits coming to salamakar by trading on the black market.

Others

most obvious enemy of dal'tosh is ork nob with the Device of a flaming ball. Thought he could be a magic user, but taking him out (temporarily) didn't seem to change anything. Also was some friction with an orc honey, but dal'tosh seemed quite put out by her death so guess it must have been some kind of romantic shit.

Allies: two other orc backruns, devices = dagger guard and taloned hand. Magic items: crafted torcs invested with ritual of intrusive translation; think of what to say and tranlation comes to you so can speak (and make offensive gestures) like a cultured native. Truthfinding ring murtles magical sharpening stone; weapon sharpened with this does more damage. pink heart medallion of protection; gives single shot protection from aorta shots. Mr humphries face; magical mask. flick-gauche: maingauche that appears from a wooden handle. Lady synthia's ever fashionable ballgown: magically changing gown, just think of the style. girdle of mighty expansion and contraction; grow or shrink at whim. ball and chain of pain: does nasty things to both weilder and target. undergarments of bouyancy: lingerie designed to help you swim by giving you a wedgy you levitate away from. Black sphere of the jabaku #1: poison vomit range effect. black sphere of the jabaku #2: visionise skill ability. Misc: eidelon is a complete nutter. Do not let him be party leader, And keep him restrained when not in use. The milky white stuff they drink is called kastell and is recommended.

31 march

Guild meeting. Go to room with orc, elf and human, introductions as above, offered refreshments. Have some milky stuff; wee! I could like this job. Told objective, then left to squabble about it. Party = me, thulrandir, thorn, eidelon, kiseri, sir agrivane and dimitri. Last three are bunnies. Eidelon gets party leader, immediately insists all party members carry 2 weeks food, 1 days water and 2 healing potions at all times. Fuckwit.

I get scribe, thulrandir gets military Scientist. Employers return, tell us we will be introduced at court so not mistaken for human scum by other nobs. Asante says to have a night on him. All right! Eidelon drags me back into room. Finally get away and corner elf to establish means of payment for this party. Talks of reasonable expenses. Fuck.

So collar jaquilo and show him the sights. Seems reasonable expenses open to interpretation. Arrange courtly attire. Big joke.

1 & 2 April

Spent whoring and drinking. Get receipts. Others arrange courtly attire and set up agrivane into fops clothes.

Quote dimitri: "it would be terrible to get a faux pas in a court full of orks. I don't think I could live it down." 

Arwen joins party. Should be good sport.

3 April

Boat leaves on evening tide, dimitri carries me on unco. Come to for dinner. Nice food, talk business, more milky stuff. Will be lent amulets as part of diplomatic status so can understand local lingo.

6 April

kiseri recovers from seasickness. Yay.

7 April

allowed to cast on ship to practice. Some stupid bastard gives taste of things to come by blowing up some water with a bolt of sunlight and upsetting the crew.

8 April

storm clouds. Shit. Get gear together and put in float,others tie things and selves down appropriately. Fuckwits.

Spell of light on ship so everyone can see how much shit we're In. Bad storm. Lights go out halfway, so renewed. Eidelon falls in love with a sailor. Not surprised.

9 April

18 hours after the storm hit, the sailors were all buggered. Eidelon denies responsibility. Thorn says the wind is wrong. The crow’s nest reports an enormous black-sailed frigate coming towards us with the storm accompanying it. No flags.

The others start preparing for melee, so I suggest we ask our employers what it’s worth to them to have our protection. Not a fucking charity, after all.

Asante identifies Jabaku and says to look for an eye. Thulrandir finds a glass ball with an eye floating in it in the bilges. Eidelon gently battle-axes it free. Fuckwit. D.A. = ice harms it. Agrivane thoughtfully deals with the problem and tromps on it. Fuckwit. An enormous aggressive asparagus springs up and attacks him.

Quote Thorn: “Ooo… magic.” The original dumb woman. Miss D.A. Fuck.

Some stupid bastard casts Solar Flare. I grab a bucket of water. Three pulses later the ship is set on fire. I throw the bucket of water and jump overboard to rescue a fried sailor, followed by Kis eri. Eventually get him back. Nearly drowned myself.

Asante says plant magic = Ashatell, who are then noticed behind us as well. Fucking marvellous. We have to find another eye. Asante suspects a traitor and starts testing the crew with a truth-finding ring.

The others find another eye. Agrivane uses his tried and true destructive method to deal with it and gets blasted. Ha. While distracted, the cook “falls” overboard. Everyone ignores him.

A Chaldak ship appears on the forward horizon. Shit. Jabaku shoot at Ashatell. Agrivane’s idea: surrender and let them fight it out amongst themselves, then take on the survivors. Duly ignored when the Jabaku fire at us.

Another ship appears behind us out of the storm in a sorry state — Destiny. Considered potential allies by Eidelon. They take one look at all the others and head straight back into the storm.

Some defensive spells are cast, then a series of Solar Flares are set up to catch the Jabaku ship, who are steadily gaining. Thorn fires off some good shots into the enemy, then the Solar Flares go off and catch them. A snowstorm on ourselves to put it out.

We decide to turn toward the Chaldak — best chance of surrender or survival. A boulder catches the rigging. Jabaku and Ashatell engage. Jabaku throws grapples, slowing pursuit. Ashatell breaks free, but Jabaku continue the chase.

An anti-rigging shot from Jabaku, then they catch us — grapples with chains — and go to board. Small fight, then Chaldak ram the Jabaku amidships, breaking contact. We finish off boarders as Dimitri falls overboard. Fuckwit. Agrivane eventually deigns to rescue him.

Some stupid fuckwit casts Star Wings and flies off to take on the Jabaku ship himself as I throttle the last boarder. I lose a bet to Dimitri. Fuck.

The flighty bugger returns and offers a lift to Asante over to Chaldak. Asante says the attacks are “something political.” No kidding — I thought three different races were after my autograph. No details or guesses forthcoming.

Chaldak offers us 25,000 sp to sink the Jabaku ship.

Meanwhile Kis eri thinks Dal’tosh is pacted — found a hidden bat while looking for eyes. Fail D.A., of course. Fuck.

Asante and bird boy return. Eidelon has this great plan: we attack the Jabaku frigate and board her, bird boy flies in as I take out air mages, then we kill everyone helped by 20 Chaldak. Our employers, under the mistaken impression he’s offering a plan we can accomplish, agree. Fuck. Eidelon is mad.

Dimitri gives him arseholes. Someone’s spell backfires so I don’t get invisibility, but Thulrandir does.

As we charge the Jabaku, the Chaldak are hit by some kind of torpedo, freeze up, and stop. I recommend leaving.

More sunbeams hit the Jabaku — once more frozen. We get into range. I throw a grapple, make myself scarce, then board her. About 26 on deck. Others tear up (Agrivane late because he has to finish a crap) and attack.

Can’t see any air mages — or any mages for that matter — but I do see a haggard lackey running toward the tower, so I follow. Others are having problems with footing on the slippery deck.

Plague-ridden zombie things appear and move slowly toward the fray.

I go down the tower — nasty place, walls covered in diseased filth — into a room with four Jabaku sitting around the captain, chanting. I hit the captain with paralysis poison. Didn’t work. Fuck.

So I stick him with a doctored main gauche, then slip a garrotte around his neck. Lackeys go nuts and scratch at me like animals. Then the captain dies and they all drop. I grab the balls out of his hands.

Meanwhile, zombie things mow through their own side to get to the others. Arwen and Agrivane go down. Then all the zombie things drop, the crew go mad, and the ship starts to dissolve.

I notice this too. Others abandon ship. I fall into the water and lose the main gauche — still stuck in the captain. Fuck. The others pull me out.

Dal’tosh’s captain is pleased. Party planned. Debrief, heal up, mention possibility of diseases. Round of applause for me rescuing the party. Fuckwits.

We get scratch infections seen to and head to the party. Dal’tosh is pleased. Asante gets wordy and offers us “items of potency” each for saving the ship. Lots of milky stuff.

Come on to Kis eri and Eidelon propositions me. Not interested.

Men meet on board. Eidelon calls the battle a “pretty close call” and warns me off the women. Bastard. Agrivane gets religious and moral as well.

I go back to the party, get pissed, try to pick a fight with Agrivane… and fail.

Shit.

10 - 14 April

weather fine, recover from party. Dal'tosh and arwen get cosy, spend hours in his room. She says he's teaching her dances. I bet. Mention possibility that woman of slave race Might find things inconvenient if man of master race takes too much of a fancy for her, especially given their penchant for Restocking slave races off-plane but she scoffs. Bitch. Hope she gets trouble.

15 April

going really stir-crazy so go and pick a fight with a sailor. Creams me, bastard, but i feel better. Then notice whip is missing. Shit. Agrivane goes to congratulate the antagonist and winds up terrorising him. Party unsympathetic about stunned scribe. Good. Eidelon talks a bunny into healing me. Backfires and starts twitching. Threatens eidelon, so eidelon hits him, so agrivane hits eidelon.

Quote thorn: "trust scorpion: he's the only one I know who can start a fight in the party while unconcious."

All throw water on me 'Til i wake up. Fuckwits. Asante comes on board towing Antagonist, takes him to rail and draws a knife. I click before party and yell no but asante cuts his throat and shoves the body overboard. Party gets very unhappy, blames me. Dimitri gets righteous and eidelon says i'm not to cause any more deaths. Complete fuckwit. As though i do it for the fun of it. Reckon being on bad side of sailors could cause trouble for mission, so while party giving me the cold shoulder go and ask jaquilo how i could make amends. Tells me i have to take care of assailants' (brakens') wife and sprog. Fuck.

16 April

captain sets up tools for plane shift. All purify. Night falls, get to high mana zone. Some fuckwit told not to cast (belatedly) as it disturbs the vortex. Shit. Black hole Appears. Dal'tosh grabs arwen, everyone else grabs ship. Go in, very dark. Eidelon catatonic, scared of the dark. Dimitri gets washed loose as ship rolls in tunnel, grabbed by agrivane And thulrandir. Bit hairy for a bit: dimitri gets washed loose Again, grabbed by agrivane again, arwen gets washed loose, grabbed by her greenskinned boyfriend. Won't be the first time, i bet. Out of hole into light.

Day 1: hot

Hot. Flying. Fuck.

We lose Kis eri overboard when we hit the water. She goes under. Eidelon jumps in to rescue her. I wait… then go in. Then Arwen. Then Eidelon again after surfacing for a breather. Then Dimitri.

The water is impossible to see through. She eventually surfaces, so we all get dragged back on board.

First impressions: hot. Cliffs on both sides, carved with hieroglyphics and riddled with caves, with slaves continuing development. Behind us, the hole we came out of — about 10 feet up — gushing water, with lots of vines hanging from it. In front, more holes, more ships, and the city. It forms a steaming, spherical inland sea.

A military-style boat approaches. The sail has a device of a big bird coming out of the sun. It communicates with ours using mirrors.

Still fucking hot.

We clean weapons and gear. Find out the milky stuff is called Kastell — important, that.

We approach the city. Dal’tosh comes out in full finery and is given a chest by a welcoming committee at the docks. He gives us each a translation torc from the chest, all bearing his device — Arwen’s is particularly impressive.

We’re introduced to some of Dal’tosh’s allies in trade: a dwarven courtier, an elven assassin, and some orc nobles.

We head into the city, taking notes. No vermin, very little poor trash, no loiterers. Disreputable types move quickly. Lots of tension and plenty of guards. We see water and ice for sale, and some salty stuff on sticks.

Still fucking hot.

We reach a street leading directly to the palace — completely empty. Instant suspicion in the party. Nervous bastards. Then some complete nutter sets a whole lot of Solar Flares down the street we haven’t even walked yet.

Dal’tosh gets nervous about the silence and starts us down the street anyway.

Then we hear a noise like surf… no, a serf — a riot.

Solar Flare #1 goes off and I start running. I’m more scared of adventurers than revolting slaves. #2 goes off — misses me. The noise builds into a full riot.

I duck into cover. Everyone scatters.

The crowd surges over us — scruffy humans, the occasional equally scruffy elf. Wild, chaotic. I’m fine.

Dal’tosh, Asante, Jaquilo, Eidelon, Thorn, and Thulrandir — all grouped together — start getting buffeted, so Dal’tosh starts hauling them onto a roof.

I get wriggled out of the situation and decide to see what I can learn in the riot. Kis eri and Arwen get caught up as well. Dimitri and Agrivane already missing.

I find a ranter shouting about a prophet, the heavens, “the time is now,” and “to the palace.” Nonsense, mostly — but I note a symbol.

I try to get out again.

Arwen makes it out, only to be surrounded by dwarves with spears, then arrested by elves. A spear wall pushes down the street and runs over Kis eri. Nasty.

I grab a rooftop and narrowly avoid the dwarves, only for them to get picked off by the elves following behind. Very nasty.

Five of the bastards grab me, tie me to a pole, and bugger off — ignoring my claims of association with Dal’tosh. Still have my main gauches and blowpipe, but everything else is taken.

The riot gets sandwiched between spear walls and turns ugly fast.

Dal’tosh, Asante, and Thulrandir really cop it. Eventually they break into a house and barricade themselves until the constabulary arrives. The ground is covered in blood.

Dal’tosh comes out and starts complaining about how the situation has “progressed to a religiously inspired riot,” then starts having a go at the constabulary and puts out a call for missing party members.

Meanwhile, I’m manacled into a long line of humans and marched off. I promise the guard his demise and memorise his face.

Arwen gets chained directly in front of me, so I breathe down her neck. She kicks me in the kneecap. Fuck. I promise her demise too. We get whipped for talking.

We reach the palace and are thrown into barracks with many others — standing room only, and still very hot.

We wait to be processed and pick up bits of information about prophets and Orlix’s mercs — they assume I’m one. Talking about religion sparks another riot inside the barracks.

Meanwhile, Kis eri wakes up in a “hospital,” bandaged head to foot. The main party gets shown to nice, cool quarters in the palace grounds, with food, drink, and healing.

Bastards.

Agrivane and Dimitri are still missing.

Two hours later, things calm down. Doors open. A guarded elf comes in asking for servants of Backrun Dal’tosh. I keep quiet — don’t want to lose cover. Arwen goes out and leaves me behind.

Bitch.

I find some of the leaders, memorise a face, and move toward the door for the next opening… then pass out in the heat.

Meanwhile, Kis eri gets found and patched up further, and the others recover our gear.

Two hours later, Dal’tosh visits them. Says the situation is over, though there are still lots of police around. Gives them robes with his device emblazoned across them, some money, and tells them to enjoy a night out in the upper levels.

Says he’s still looking for missing members — including me. Arwen says nothing. Thulrandir says I’m now “the #1 most wanted in the country in five hours.”

They all get nice restorative drinks.

Fuck them all.

At least Arwen’s leg is still bad. Small win.

At this point, Agrivane and Dimitri show up. They were knocked out in the riot and woke up somewhere cool, without clothes or armour, covered in ointment. Then some large blokes gave them white robes and veils and escorted them through the warrens before dumping them gently in the street.

Apparently humans react in a semi-religious way to the robes.

Eventually they asked an elf for directions to Backrun Dal’tosh, got sent to a guardhouse, then back to quarters.

Meanwhile, I come to just as a door opens beside me. I project, slip out past the guards while my simulacrum flips them off — probably looked impressive to the rebels.

I find Jaquilo, get patched up a bit, and decide I don’t want to deal with the others. He shows me the way to a sailors’ pub, then to Bracken’s woman.

We go deep into the warrens. I’m led down some steps to a curtain. Told they’ll wait outside — not for my benefit, I suspect.

I clap and enter.

Nice room. A woman and two children in shadow.

She steps forward.

Fucking amazing.

She — Al-Ahlina — and the kids, Agalo (9) and Miridi (3), take an instant dislike to me. Suits me fine.

We talk. I give her two options: take a lump sum and I leave, or she packs up and comes to Seagate.

I inherit a wife.

I lend her a ring to establish status, and she packs her things into a chest. Rope in some sailors to carry the bloody thing back to Dal’tosh’s quarters.

I give that nasty weasel to Agalo to look after. Big joke.

Jaquilo helps move Al in and tells me the sailors all got sacked after money went missing from Dal’tosh’s safe during the voyage. I say I’m not a social worker, but I’ll mention it.

The things I do to keep a mission safe.

I’m eating when the others return.

Turns out Thulrandir went looking for me in the barracks, got blocked by dwarves, obtained written orders from some bureaucratic elf in a red building, got in, but couldn’t find me. Nearly ordered the whole place divinated.

Arwen checked records — no sign of me being processed. Eidelon checked again under my Cobra alias. Nothing.

They decide to go shopping. Dimitri suggests checking brothels for me. I wish.

Agrivane buys off-the-rack armour. Arwen repairs hers and buys a battleaxe. They all hit a large, noisy human tavern. Drinks, socialising, Agrivane annoying Thulrandir.

They meet a human-accepted dwarf named Macrel.

Jaquilo eventually brings them home and tells them I’m back.

I tell them the woman is my prize — killed her husband. Fill them in on what I’ve learned about the city and mention the sailors.

Kis eri admits to the theft — says it was to cover her tracks after finding the bat. My idea: doctor the coins to look magically damaged, then return them with a story about accidental teleportation via backfire.

She gets to work.

Thulrandir starts getting sentimental about my absence, so I retire with Al.

She starts getting on my nerves.

So I get plastered… and pass out.

Day 2

“Items of potency” are delivered early in the morning. The party practically falls over themselves in enthusiasm to get me up to D.A. them — and experience my hangover.

Al rescues me.

Eventually, I crawl out and check the whetstone: not trapped, warded, or cursed — but magical. At that point, Jaquilo turns up and tells us to dress for an Imperial audience. We leave in two hours.

I feel wrecked. Al gets in my face while I’m dressing, so I suggest she take a walk and pick up whatever she needs for a hangover cure. Not in a good mood. She leaves.

I grab some melon and join the others.

Everyone is dressed up — except Agrivane, who refuses the foppish clothes and instead wears his skull, death armour, and cape. Honestly, he’ll probably impress the locals more.

The girls look good. We’re carrying some weapons between us — I don’t mention what I’m concealing.

We follow Jaquilo to the palace.

The place is richly decorated. We see orcs, elves, and the occasional dwarf. The women are unbelievable — I tell Kis eri to remember one so I can show Balode when we get back.

Jaquilo opts for discretion and takes us along a quieter route.

We pass through a long tunnel — definite kill zone — before reaching Dal’tosh’s chambers, where he’s waiting with Asante.

He tells us to stick close to him. It’ll be two to three hours before presentation, so we should freshen up and eat.

Kis eri returns the stolen money but dithers over the explanation. Next time, I’m giving her a script.

Dal’tosh briefs us: there’s a null zone around the Emperor, so no casting. We follow him in, stay deferential, and remain behind him. Be careful what we say — insults mean duels. Missile weapons are frowned upon. Drawing weapons in the Emperor’s presence means the dungeon. No magic.

Everyone present outranks us socially — so, nothing new.

We’ll stand at the back of the audience chamber until called forward. Then we’re introduced, the mission is announced, and we withdraw.

The Emperor’s title is simply Emperor. Bow from the waist to about two o’clock.

Dal’tosh mocks curtseying, calling it a squat. Arwen is not amused.

He collects our names and titles for proper introduction. Eidelon practises a speech. Kis eri practises curtseying.

Two other Backruns join us — dagger guard and taloned hand devices. Allies.

I suggest Dal’tosh’s enemies might be tied to the religion — and that someone present could cause trouble.

We enter the throne room.

Large. Heavily guarded. Full of chatter.

The Emperor is a black orc in gold, seated on a black throne that looks like it was extruded from a mass murderer. Most courtiers are orcs.

We’re noticed immediately — alignment obvious — and there’s plenty of negative commentary.

We stand behind Dal’tosh, biting our tongues and admiring the scenery.

Dal’tosh engages in ritual hand-wrestling, winning most bouts except against an orc bearing a stylised heron device. A particularly striking orc woman flirts with him.

The Emperor makes an economic announcement: reduced import tax on slaves with two years’ training, long-term slaves, and those not from war zones. Efficient control system.

He then expresses annoyance at a Backrun bringing in troublemakers.

That’s us.

We’re called forward.

A poorer orc is awarded shares in a gate for service. Then a human prisoner is brought in — tied to the martyrs. He refuses repentance.

The Emperor considers death, then instead assigns him as a body servant — an example.

The Royal Beastmaster, Falal, drags him away.

Our turn.

Dal’tosh presents his plan as his coming-of-age rite, outlining the mission. It sounds like a clever way to manage dissent and utilise the portal — though I’m annoyed none of this was mentioned earlier.

An orc bearing a flaming ball device steps forward — clearly unhappy. He’s shadowed by a dangerous-looking woman who locks eyes with Dal’tosh and rattles him.

The flaming ball starts laying into Dal’tosh and us — questioning our credentials and our unconventional methods.

I’m surprised Dal’tosh doesn’t challenge him.

I nearly do.

Then — a loud bang.

The skylights shatter.

Dimitri gets danger sense. No kidding.

Chaos erupts. Everyone except us draws weapons. The Emperor activates defences — three of the four steps to his dais shimmer with shielding magic.

Orlix’s mercenaries pour in — through skylights, from shadows, and via a portal that opens near the throne.

They strike fast and hard. Grenades from the walls. Momentum everywhere.

Dal’tosh orders us back to the wall.

I see his nemesis under attack.

Thulrandir gets clipped by a sticky fire grenade. I spot the flaming ball slipping behind the portal.

Dal’tosh roars in pain — didn’t see what hit him — and charges into the fire around the portal.

Arwen ditches her skirts mid-fight. Brief distraction.

Then my simulacrum bursts into flames.

Fuck.

Someone out there has spotted me.

The court doors explode open — dwarves with pikes flood in.

Dal’tosh tears through the portal guards, seemingly turning the battle. Agrivane follows. I avoid direct combat. Dimitri shrugs off hostile mana. Thulrandir gives someone an extra orifice.

Then some idiot casts Solar Flare.

The throne — and Emperor — vanish into a hole that definitely wasn’t there before.

Dal’tosh reaches the woman and collapses, weeping. Completely ignores the remaining attackers.

Solar Flare is about to go off — and several of us are still nearby.

I spot the flaming ball behind the portal and tag him with a blowdart. Beautiful shot. He’s down.

A gong sounds. Mercenaries retreat through their portals. Those left behind disintegrate.

The dwarves turn on us.

We shove Dal’tosh forward to deal with them.

Eidelon checks the woman — dead. Then gets hit with agony magic and collapses beside her.

Suspicious.

Kis eri and Thorn hide behind Asante. The Solar Flare goes off but only scorches the walls.

Dwarves charge. Everyone runs except Thulrandir and Dal’tosh. Agrivane tries to drag Dal’tosh out, triggering him to grab Arwen and run.

Thulrandir gets hit with Hands of Earth and still mouths off.

I get hit with agony but keep moving. Dimitri mouths off at me — I swing and miss.

Fuck.

We surrender and get beaten for it.

We’re manacled together — except Dal’tosh’s group and Arwen — and marched to the dungeons deep beneath the palace.

Thrown into a cell.

I tell Thulrandir to pick the locks. Turns out the party is a bunch of old women — too scared to act, even though the next visitor could easily be hostile.

I still have my blowpipe. The others are unarmed.

Asante shows up. Says he’ll get us released and off-plane within a day. Apparently pleased with our work — might hire us again in six to twelve months.

The Emperor is still missing.

Great.

We argue about escaping. Dimitri agrees with me — bad situation, likely anarchy. Others vote to stay.

Idiots.

We agree to move if we’re still here in 24 hours.

I fashion darts from bone.

Hours pass. Guards rotate. Agrivane starts praying.

Fuckwit.

Then — marching.

The door opens.

Elves in dark green with flaming ball devices.

Fuck.

I hide my weapon and inform the others they’re all idiots.

A dwarf enters with a cestus and warhammer — says he’s moving us. Immediately gets smashed aside by soot-covered black-clad elves.

Ninja elves.

Eidelon suggests chaining enemies together. Madness.

We retreat. I hide behind Dimitri.

Lead elf reveals himself — Asante.

He wipes out the opposition and frees us.

I grab a metal whip from a corpse.

Best moment of the day.

We rearm in a guardroom.

Asante leads us through secret tunnels — 25-foot drop into water. Agrivane sinks; Eidelon retrieves him.

We follow the current and emerge at the docks. Night.

Our ship is ready. Gear — and Al — already aboard.

Same crew. Everything sorted.

Dal’tosh is there, with Arwen and guards.

He praises us: “Performance outstanding.” Might work with us again. Wants a copy of the scribe notes.

Eidelon cautiously agrees.

Dal’tosh and Arwen are staying. She wants to “learn more of the culture.” Supposedly he’ll get her back in time for the next guild meeting.

Sure.

We’re given trade goods, then set sail.

Asante shows us how to remove the collars — if we want.

I keep mine on. Easier to teach Common to Al and the kids.

She stays in the men’s cabin with me. Ignores everyone else.

We reach the portal. Papers are shown. Passage granted.

I get thoroughly drunk on Kastell…

…and pass out.

Day 3

out of portal into sunshine. Hungover. Try al's special remedy, throw up. Spend days teaching al and kids common, nights getting pissed and mornings throwing up after she gives me her special remedy. Works, though.

Day 8

see destiny merchantman on horizon: trade blockade. Fuck. Kiseri goes to disguise trade goods, fails. I get black balls and concentrate on turning us into a big black jabaku ship. Fails, but lose mana. Fuck. Destiny bribed to let us pass. No problems.

Day 10 = April 26

Reach seagate at evening, arwen waiting at the docks as though it was natural to her. Asante takes collars and gives a gift to the guild to facilitate communication to salamakar. Give al my coat so not to start rumours of my interest in blue birds. All decide to meet at the pub at noon tomorrow to sort out the stuff. Eidelon makes an informal complaint about me to the guild, on principle. Fuckwit.