SGT809-2

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Editorial Room for the Autumn 809 Edition

Quotable Quotes

Kilroy: "I've been thinking..."

Lizette: "Does anyone else resurrect?"
Sau Rus: "I can get them up again, but people refuse to call it resurrection."

Lizette: "We can stop the pain and then resurrect you later."

Aqualina: "He's covering his rear?"
Sau Rus: "No .. More like covering his geas"

Sooty: "You are what you eat - if you eat something tough and inedible like Guild "C" rations"
Lizette: "Can I quote you on being a "C" class adventurer because you are what you eat?"

Lizette: "You can get decaffinated restoratives?"

Sau Rus: "Small rabid creatures only attack McLeods, a well known fact."

Grizelda: "Undead chickens do NOT lay eggs."
Sau Rus: "I don't know. I've never tried."

Sooty: "I can command that many men"
Sau Rus: "I can raise that many men"
Lizette: "I can count that many men"

"I'd rather you created a longboat" - Grizelda
"You use your culture, I'll use mine" - Aqualina (after creating an outrigger canoe).

"I think we just proved that Lizette likes living on the edge" - Aqualina (after Lizette deliberately landed near the edge of the cliff).

Insidious Rumours

Kilroy seduced by SMG
Kilroy may soon be leaving us for the Sanctuary Mages Guild. "They have a uniform, and it's black! Even I looked good!"
Braegon turns Sadistic
Braegon, once one of our best Healers has turned bad! Several witnesses have seen him sticking needles in his patients! Guild security denies all knowledge and refuses to investigate!

What's Hot, What's Not

Hot

  • Dark Elementals
  • Squibbons
  • Thigh-high Dresses

Not

  • Solar Flares
  • Family 'Issues'
  • Swiss Cheese Minds

Recent Adventures / News in Brief

Farwey Fulcrum

The Duke of Petrenco on Farwey lost contact with his favourite Dwarven trading partners. This was probably due to the large undead army currently occupying a good portion of the trade route. As his army was dealing with the small undead army leaking through his other border, he approached his favourite source of problem solvers, and a Guild party was hired.
Unsurprisingly, the dwarves had withdrawn fully underground after extracting a heavy toll on the spectral creatures, golems, ghouls, skellies and goblins, and were holding them nicely. The party blasted through the undead army's after-guard and rear-guard to discover that the dwarves were distracted from dealing with the spectral balrog that had taken up home in the Heart of one of their mountains. The party managed to negotiate its departure with the pair of shadow dragons that had put it in place. Check back in another 101 years for further contracts with the dwarves.

Food Flowing Again

On Iska, grain shipments were not coming down the river. So a bunch of us went to investigate and discovered that, upriver, a sickness was raging caused by poisoned river water and the local Caliph had blockaded the river in an attempt to stop the 'sickness' from spreading. The poison got worse the further we went upriver and we tracked the source to a bunch of goblins who had bred slugs that extruded poisonous slime as well as creating a rather large undead army. We wiped out the slugs and put a rather large crimp in the goblin's plans. With those gone, the river started flowing clean again. Also, since we had identified the river as being the source, the populace were told to get their water from artesian wells so they all got better. The Caliph lifted the blockade and grain transports started flowing again.

Guild News

Seagate Times reporter imprisoned!

On a recent visit to Alfhiem our field reporter Glitterwing Stargazer was placed under house arrest pending investigation and execution for spying. Intervention by a local party of guild adventurers were able to apply leverage on members of the Elvan court to have her released. Eidolon has been assurred that 'Journalist' is not the same thing as 'Spy' despite them doing almost exactly the same things. Apparently tensions in the elven capital are riding rather high at the moment.


Dwarven over-production causing problems

The book 'Eidolon' a treatise on methods of governance by Calial of the Philosophers department of the Guild has been over published by a group of dwarves using their newly invented mechanicial device "The Word Replicator". A small error in elven / dwarven translation resulted in several thousand copies being made, rather than six. Still, the author assures us that it is purely a theroetical exercise and shouldn't be of concern to anybody.

Columns and Articles

Demand for Royal Census - Census committee formed

The Royal court of Eidolon has formed a Census committee, tasked with enumerating the many inhabitants of Alfhiem. The stated reason for this census is that the crown would like to know exactly who and what is living in Alfhiem and how they can be made to pay taxes. Currently most taxes are in the form of duties and tariffs on various goods as they move about within and without of the Empire. The Elvan court feels a more direct form of taxation is called for to 'aid and improve our glorious Queendom'.

Lady Quinae, head of the new committee gave this statement; "In these modern times it has become apparent that our infrastructure is less than adequate for the purpose of meeting the demands being placed upon it. We need to upgrade our existing infrastructure and emplace new assets required in these modern times. A census will inform us of where these assests are needed and from where funds can be aquired to purchase them. With the erection of these civic works all Alfhiem will be modernised and become fully prepared to meet the demands of the 58th millenium."

Reaction to the announcement has been poor

"Once again the tyrants of Eidolon have set out to bleed the honest woodsman and hunters of elven society to fuel their exhorbiant lifestyles. Any attempt to enumerate us, pin us down and extort us will be met most forcefully" Clarice of Free Elvandar

"Why do they want to know where I am am and tax me for it? They should know and I'm already doing my bit for queen and country. I wont be paying for the 'privalege' as well." Nellia of the Southern Rangers.

"Will I have to go back home? I've met someone here. And I think we shall stay." Hastriel, newly of Ladlaugh

Alfheim Expectant!

Following the successful reinactment of the Rites of Spring many elves are expecting to give birth this season. Most of the new couples have chosen to remain in ladlaugh province to give birth and raise their children. Being slightly overwhelmed in demands for midwives the rapidly expanding province has sought the aid of the Beltan Expeditionary Force. Increasing in population by two orders of magnitude has strangely not seriously discomoded the local court. "Oh no. It's been quite simple." said Lady Beryllia, "If you would just examine this simple chart and register you can see how we've been able to reallocate lands to the new arrivals. In my opinion we should be able to accomodate expansion for some time yet to come."

Ranke abolishes Slavery

The Duchy of Ranke has 'clarified' its position on the corrupt and oppressive trade in human misery. It no longer supports the buying and selling of people like cattle, and has emancipated hundreds and thousands of slaves. Very few of these slaves have elected to emigrate, instead accepting offers of seed capital or plots of land to start a new life, either in familiar environ, or the recently reclaimed wilds of southern Ranke.

Sanctuary, as the major trading port of Ranke, and as perhaps the greatest canker on human civilisation this side of Caulder, will also be enforcing this legislation. There has already been quite a shake-up in the fortunes of Rankene nobility, and Sanctuary trading houses. For example, the Al Carion slave-trading cartel is no more, with the near-simultaneous seizure of its slaves and sacking of its ancestral Arabique city Wasyrat, and a co-incidental razing of its Rankene land holdings by Ormond. The Rankene Merchant Princes of Vigiles and Alden have also been rocked to their financial fundamentals.

The charming young Duchess Meredithis wishes to assure Ranke's trade partners that it will continue the traditional feudal practises of debt-bonding and indentured servitude, like most of the other baronies. These laws allow the owner of a debt to encourage an idle debtor into work to pay off debts owing, and this debt may be on-sold. Sanctuary has been a major local trading market in contracts concerning debtors, indentured servants, paupers, and other idle layabouts, and this practise adds to the efficiency of the open labour market. Landlords right across the baronies can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that seasonal workers are available for large harvests, and that if their militia needs to be called up in self-defence, willing and efficient workers can be shipped into the fields, and whisked away again when the triumphant heroes return. Without the open labour market, famines and starvation would be widespread, and food would be left to rot in the fields in times of bounty.



Ormond and Ranke tussle over border

In late Spring and early Summer, the joint Rankene / Mordeaux protectorate of Ormond accused Ranke of military manoeuvrings in preparation for an invasion. Its neighbours Mordeaux, Aladar, and Bowcourt did not share its concerns, and so a suddenly isolated Count Mollan called up several hundred knights and yeomen, to man his southern border. It appears that some of the bolder knights disguised themselves as Tuscan raiders, and attacked and razed several large hamlets and villages around the Rankene city of Ilsig. Unfortunately for these overly keen nobles, Ranke had, up to that date, no interest in attacking Ormond. Once the border raid had occurred, Ranke was forced to divert several hundred troops that were being shipped to Southern Ranke to keep the peace through the Ilsigi province. These troops, along with some of the more disciplined Ormond militia, undertook joint patrols for the remaining of summer, ensuring that the unrest on both sides of the border was well and truly suppressed.


Ranke attacks Arabie

The Arabique town of Wasyrat, known as a major trading port for slaves and illegal spices, has been attacked and sacked in a surprise raid by a makeshift Rankene armada. The secret fleet of ocean-going vessels left port in late spring, apparently bound for Southern Ranke, although it was feared they would raid Ormond or Aladar. The three thousand troops from the sixty nine surviving vessels assaulted and breached the walls of Wasyrat within a day of landing, due in large part to the support of most of the senior Sanctuary Mage Guild, and some Stepson field operatives. Although the Queen was captured and the palace was secured with ease, the house-to-house searches and subsequent manumission of the slaves, took several weeks, partially due to the complexity of organising their transport for resettling.

On the passage home, several of the ships stopped in various ports in the Isles of Adventure, and most of them failed to rejoin the fleet. Despite this setback during the return journey, General Alar of the Third Command, and High Admiral Hadradithis, cousin to the Duchess, pronounced the attack a 'unquestioned moral and military success', and a 'financially self-supporting venture'.


Royal Wedding Bells?

Courtiers in Aquila, Bowcourt, and Ranke have been working overtime, sounding out their counterparts as a prelude to possible negotiations for a Royal Engagement. Duchess Meredithis of Ranke is one of the few eligible women of sufficient rank and wealth to be considered as a worthy match for good King Ulric. She is proving to be an astute and moral ruler of an often troubled land, and has doubled crown revenue without raising taxes, abolished slavery, brought Sanctuary into line with central government policy, successful prosecuted an overseas war on moral grounds, and brought order to the lawless wilderness of Southern Ranke, all before her 16th birthday. If anything, she may prove to be a little too strong-willed and independent for Ulric and his Regents to handle. However, as the two teenagers are within a year of each other, both raised to rule from an early age, and appear destined for greatness, their marriage could help to cement the new Western Kingdom as a glorious empire for centuries to come. With the abolition of slavery and the newfound approval of the Church, Ranke has done away with both the main political and religious reasons why the Kingdom has been keeping Ranke at a distance. Rankene insistence on a guarantee of continuing independent rule has proved to be the major sticking point in its negotiations to re-enter the Kingdom, and a Rankene Queen may be sufficient to smooth over any ruffled feelings. Do not be surprised if Ulric and Meredithis happen to meet at some of the harvest balls around the major courts this season, and 'fall in love'.


Palace Slaughter 'just a wet run'

If we needed any proof of the dangers of keeping several women locked up together, we have it in a salacious scandal that rocked Sanctuary over summer. One of the Prince's concubines went mad in the heat, and went on a rampage, slaughtering her rivals, maids, eunuchs, and even several of the palace guard. What adds spice to this sad and tawdry tale is that it seems that the killer was our very own Clarissa. Initial reports had it that a demon was responsible, and the level of carnage shocked even hardened killers Serendipity and Dalran. To add a fresh twist to 'girl runs wild with knife', it seems that two weeks later to the very day, Clarissa slaughtered a dozen more people in the Wasyrat palace, and dumped the body fragments at the feet of the invading Rankene army, with her compliments. It appears that slaughtering her rivals, servants and protectors is just a pleasant form of practice for Sanctuary's number one femme fatale.


More Branches found on Celestial Tree

Not one, but two distinct lost-long branches of the Celestial college, both utilising the power of the Moon, have been discovered by keen amateur researchers at the Guild. Unfortunately, both branches are family secrets passed down through single bloodlines since the War of Tears, so will not be available to the guild unless we can encourage one of their younger Adepts to join us. Other requirements for becoming a Lunar mage appear to include being elven, with grey eyes, and the ability to do celestial mechanics in your head. Abilities that distinguish them from other celestials include long-range teleportation, speaking via moonbeams, and 'old-fashioned' whitefire. The differences between the two branches appear primarily philosophical at this point, although one is more powerful during the Full Moon, and the other during the New Moon.

Recipes for Adventurers

Bubble of Methane A special treat for unwelcome visitors that you find at your chum's place.
or How to gate crash a siege

Ingredients
As much material as can be transmuted (iron or other dense metal seems better than straw)
Some heavy material as ballast (can be a second bit of iron or some stone)
A Bubble of Force, cast at low rank or short duration, you want it to end before the transutation does.
A magical Trap (with a delay trigger)
Tramsmutation (thats the Mind kind not the Binder)
Igloo of bound ice
Means of propulsion
Source of ignition, preferably on the other side of the target
Preparation
Load Tramsmutation into the magical trap, target of trap is the iron which is to be transmuted into methane.
Cast Igloo several miles away.
Check all members of the kitchen staff can fly as a team (a mixture of 30mph Wings, being a dragon, and slipstreaming by whim was most recently used)

HINT: choose a start point so that the target is down hill of the bubble.


Method
  1. Set up magical trap, trip delay trigger.
  2. Place iron, magical trap and ballast together and enclose in the 5 ft bubble of force.
  3. Trap will trigger. You have have a presurized bubble of methane to roll towards visitors.
  4. Various methods may be used to do the rolling, Illusionary animals are known to work. Obviously a smooth floor or similar is easiest to roll over.
  5. Shelter in the Igloo, and wait for the pressure wave to pass.
  6. Fly down to where the unwelcome visitors were, help your chums deal with the visitor's cohorts.
  7. Pop inside for a chat.

HINT: fight towards any chums that show up when they heard the bang, as you want them to know you are friendly.

Classifieds (Selling Services and Stuff)

For sale: A non-magical, non-caster, set of drow half-plate. Suitable for a medium level non-mage adventurer. Protects reasonably well (AP 7) but can be a little cumbersome (AG -1). Wasn't officially valued. I'd like 2,000sp for it.

Contact me at Bolton manor.

Basalic

Shipwrights and Sail Makers Wanted

Count Aryan of Ebola is hiring Shipwrights, Chandlers, Sail Makers, Blacksmiths, and Carpenters to work on the new Ebolan Merchant Navy. Contracts are offered for 3 or 6 months, the work is in the new Ebola shipyards, transport and accommodation provided, standard craftsmen rates.

Guild Member Mechanicians with skill in Ship Design or Siege Weapons are welcome to work with the masters leading the construction.

Bestiary

Riddles and Puzzles

Letters

Dear Editor,
On learning that Brother Phaeton had run foul of the terms and conditions of his pact I though it might be of benefit to your readership if I put quill to paper and offered a little advice on the subject of Pacting.

Thorn's Advice for Young Adventurers; Pacts
Pacts are overrated. Stay free and work for or with whomever you want.
Powers dislike others meddling with their tools or their territory. Being Pacted just complicates life for you and everyone around you.
Powers often use the base desires of greed and power to lure individuals to Pact.
Even the "Good ones" grant gifts for signing Pacts.
Powers do not give out these gifts from the goodness of their heart. They are not that altruistic. They get something in return and believe me they are getting the better of the deal, even if you can't see how.
Don't be tempted to sell yourself for that Cool signing gift the Power is offering. Its a short term gain; think long term.
Long term being Pacted to... is going to hinder you.
Long term, working as a free agent, it is possible to be paid in equally cool gifts for your services, not your soul.


Thorn


Dear Editors and Seagate Guild Adventurers

I'm looking to get Water College Investment and was wondering if anyone has any information that would aid in that quest. Also, if it looks like that adventuring is involved, is there anyone who is interested in coming along (not this season though, maybe the next one?).

I also want to know what sorta market there is for Water Investments. Please let me know your suggestions about what I should be concentrating on.

I'm also thinking of questing to get even more skilled in trident.

Aqualina.

Humour

Special Notices