SGT804-4
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Advertisements
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Looking For Love
Caring female interested in companionship, conversation, long walks, summoning and blood.
Contact: Vychan Adam Jones, Druid
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For Sale
Lucky hobbit feet. 10sp the pair each.
See XXX
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For Sale: Helping Humans Business
'Helping Humans' is a reputable human walking, training and sitting business, with a well established client list. No debts and minimal overheads. Based in Rank and working a 10 mile radius of Rank. This family run business is for sale by the owner. Please contact Jaqui Mason at 'Helping Humans'
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Pennluciens Pleasure Parlor
To satisfy *all* your Celestial needs.
Opening Soon.
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Cosmetic surgery
Attention Hobbits: Self conscious because your feet arent hairy enough? Embarrassed to walk in public without shoes?
Foot surgery is for you!
For only a small fee our skilled healers can provide you with we can give you the hairiest feet around. You will be the hobbits hobbit.
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Articles
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Cooking - Pixie Bread
Stomp, the culinary master at the bustling establishments, the Fight n' Fuk, has offered to share with us the cooking secrets. This issue Stomp is sharing with us one of his personal favorites: 'Pixie Bread'.
Ingredients
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Bag of Fresh Pixies Bread
Instructions
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Lay out Pixies in-front of the fire-pit overnight to dry. Remember to remove the wings, unless you prefer crunchy bread. Soak Pixies the following day in ale to soften. Pour off and drink ale. By now the pixie should be soft enough to spread liberally over bread with your eating knife.
NEXT ISSUE: How to get the most out of your elf.
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Scribe Tax.
Halden Barthrone, member of the guild library, is becoming exasperated at the absence of scribe notes being submitted following adventures. 'They are bound by the guild contract to complete the notes, and we offer a healing potion as a reward - surely that is enough?' Halden tell us. Consequently she is currently in negotiation with the guild council to impose a quarterly tax of 100sp per session per set of outstanding scribe notes in addition to naming and shaming them in the Seagate Times.
The council are negotiating this issue and are seeking input from the guild members. All submissions must reach the guild councilors three weeks prior to the next guild meeting.
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Morgan (the Orc) Tops Rat Eating League.
Guild member Morgan has recently clinched this seasons crown for live rat eating. In the recent competitions held at the Orc establishment the "Fight 'n Fuk", Morgan managed to consume 20 rats within one minute.
Morgan told us "bad breath is the secret, you breathe on them and they stop wriggling - much easier to stuff them in.". Our reporter assured us that Morgans breath, attributed to rotten horse flesh, has the power to stun rats, having passed out three times while talking to her.
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Sex Scandal Charity Boss Quits
Charity chief Sir Douglas Walin quit last night after revelations of a "dirty trick" plot to stitch up Phaeton over the orphanage sex scandal.
The plan to stitch up the Phaeton - proposed to the Seagate times - was to reveal "chapter and verse" on Phaetons relationship with newly hired assistant Amaranth Vale, in return for silence over Sir Douglas fling with her.
It now looks like the Phaeton could be the only senior figure to survive the Amaranth scandal. He was praised today by many, who described Phaeton as "one of the outstanding healers in the city, that's why so many people want to hire him."
Sir Douglas added: "Personally, I do not accept that I have been guilty of any wrongdoing. But it has become clear to me that my action tonight is essential to enable the Orphanage to begin to return to normality." He had held the 20,000sp a year job for 13 months.
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Silkens (on her) Back
Well loved Silken has returned to our shores following an extended leave of absence. Her return will end the dearth of salacious, sultry gossip about our fellow guild members.
Give the expected demand by 'old friends' to welcome her home we advise member queue early at Silkens establishment to ensure they have a chance to greet her.
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ARAYN IS ALL RIGHT!
One of the Times crack reports spent last week trailing Aryan, leader of the newly formed 'Carzarlan Rights Party'. The week ended with a interview with Aryan at the exclusive Hobbit restaurant Alfonses. There have been some that dont believed that the CRP are sticking up for the indigenous people of the Barony, but we now know better.
A record number of elves and dwarves are entering the city and Aryan is standing up for the rights of the common folk. "Many people do misunderstand me. I dont dislike elves and dwarves, many of them even work at my residence", Aryan tells us "but they must learn our ways if they are to enter the city. Why last week after attending the latest Dwarven ball league game I tried to spend my hard earned silver at one of the conveniently located elven restaurants but, no matter how loudly I spoke, they couldnt understand me."
If we truly believe in free speech, how can the Duke crack down on the CRP, and legislate against what is in the hearts of untold thousands? To many people in the city, the CRP have one terrific selling point: they claim to be sticking up for Carzala at a time when no other group seem to care. In our recent poll the CRP collected substantial support, a historic high for a far-right concern group.
The vast majority of CRP members are ordinary humans that feel afraid, disenfranchised and angry. And when I see this Barony acting like the softest touch in the world I feel angry too. If you pass through Carzala, you can be certain that the City guard will be ready to harass you, it is part of the war on undead. And yet consider the membership of the guild, necromancers are here, happily settled in Seagate by the largest graveyards. Hard in their words, soft in their deeds. Soft on elven Nercomancers, tough on hard working humans.
Little wonder the CRP is thriving. Arayn tell us "If Carzala really wants to fight the far Right, then now and again it has to stop acting like a bunch of weak, lily-livered liberals who wouldn't say 'Boo' to an dwarven bezerker."
And if Duke Leto can't manage that, then sooner or later all Carzala will suffer.
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POT FROM HELL!
Bedeviled Broth Burner Brands Beelzebub face on every Bowl!
Local Adventurer Dawn (aka Mary Jane aka Thistlefoot), is convinced that a recently purchased cooking pot she purchased is possessed -- because every time she cook the image of a demon appears in the contents.
"No matter how much broth I make or how long I heat it, the Demon turns up in every bowl," the young looking Dawn told reporters. "My servants have stopped eating anything cooked in the pot."
Dawn, having returned from South Prevada, says she bought the old silver plated pot while on Adventure -- but, oddly enough, she can't remember the exact location. In fact, she begins to pace and wring her hands just thinking about it because, as she puts it, "It's like what happens when you fall off a ladder and get amnesia -- my memories of that day are hazy."
"I do recall that the people at the store were strange, and the man I bought it from had weird eyes, kind of green and strange looking. The day after I got the pot home it was still in my pack because I didn't even remember buying it.
Dawn says she took the pot into her house and began cooking with it immediately. And the soups started to steam, though not overcooked, "was smoking like crazy -- and there were wicked faces with horns floating on the top."
"But I was more concerned with the face. I kept thinking, 'That's really strange -- it looks like a Demon. Then I tried again and the same thing happened. So I racked my brain to figure out why and decided that it must be some sort of 'novelty pot' or something.
And even though the only bad thing to happen to the family since Dawn bought the pot is that a tree limb fell on her house and ripped off a rain gutter, they fear that the pot may bring them serious trouble if they keep it around much longer.
"I'm hoping maybe the Demons will leave the pot so we can start using it and get on with our lives," she says. "My friends think I'm stupid and they say they'd throw it away so fast my head would spin, but I just cant bare to think parting with it"
"But I'm not taking chances -- I keep an invested right beside it on the kitchen counter. Demons might be evil, but he's no match for lightning bolts. Sure, they might burn my food but that's all he's going to do. I'm sure of that."
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WOMAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FILES LAWSUIT AGAINST GODS!
After being zapped by lightning three times in two years, Yvette Le Claire is striking back by throwing legal lightning bolts at the Almighty!
"I'm suing for a million true silver, and I know the Gods can afford it," says Yvette a mind mage who recently filed a lawsuit against the Powers of Light.
She alleges harassment, physical and mental injuries as well as distress due to her close calls with death from above.
"My attorney says the Gods are recongised entities. And after the third time I said, 'I've had enough! Now I'm mad. This is harassment, pure and simple.'"
Yvette's troubles began two years ago when he was struck while organising trade deals with Ebolo. A sudden storm caught her and before they knew it, she'd been hit by a bolt that killed her horse and sent her flying about 25 feet, knocking her senseless.
"I recovered and except for some scarring, I was fine," says Yvette. "Then I got hit again in recently, prior to departing for Newcourt. That one left me with some minor scaring. Then last week -- bam! -- I got hit as I while training. I still can't taste anything after that one."
What he'd like is a taste of justice and says his lawsuit isn't frivolous.
"I don't know anyone else I can blame for this," she says. "The odds of getting hit are remote." Yvette says she's done nothing to incur this kind of cosmic wrath. "I'm a law-abiding woman. I can't imagine why a God has singled me out for this kind of harassment."
"Sure, I've broken a couple of laws in my day. I've told a few white lies, but all for a good reason. But this punishment is way out of line for those actions, the deities are going to have to settle with me on this one."
Her lawyer, Lloyd Starbuck, says he's prepared to take the suit all the way to the gates of heaven and isn't worried about the Supreme Beings not showing up in court. "We know they're out there, one of them will be there even if we have to have them summoned." vows Starbuck.
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HOBBIT TOWN TAXES THIN PEOPLE -- BY THE POUND!
The hobbit town of Durbuy has hit thin citizens with a special new tax, charging them roughly 25 silvers a year for every pound they're underweight!
Thinner residents are outraged, calling the tax mean-spirited and wrong. "This is out-and-out discrimination," blasts trim librarian Elsie Millifoot, who tips the scales at 50 pounds. "Why should I have to pay higher taxes just because I'm a little on the small-boned side?"
But the chief sponsor of the ordinance, City Councilman Jozef Brindle, believes the law is not only fair but necessary to protect the health of all citizens. "People in this fine city are eating way too little and the effect on their health has been devastating," explains Brindle, a portly 82-pound eating buff. "Hobbits are suppose to be round, its the way of things. We're a progressive city. Instead of just sitting idly by, watching our citizens digging their own graves, we're tackling the problem head on."
The bizarre law calls for a quarterly weigh-in for all towns folk over age 14, those who come in at or above their ideal weight will get off free. Those who twice exceed the acceptable weight are required to pay the tax.
"Is it too much to ask people to have their weight checked every three months?" demands Brindle. Slim Mrs. Millifoot thinks so, she and dozens of her stick thin pals have been picketing city hall every day since the law was passed just over a month ago.
"To have to stand on a scale like as all your neighbors gawk is utterly humiliating," she protests. "And they're even talking about bringing in a special fine scales used for pixies to weigh very small people like me."
The tax will put an undue financial strain on thin families who already have a huge food budget, argues the mother of five kids, all also obese. "We'll be less and less able to provide for our families." Rotund Council-man Brindle, however, calls the added tax burden a blessing. "Less money for fancy foreign foods, and more money for cream buns -- that means better health," he points out.
The once-quiet bakers of Durbuy are now congested with waddlers, desperately trying to build themselves up to their target weight. "I hate cream," one muscle bound 47-year-old citizen gripes, "but I hate paying taxes even more."
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LIGHTNING RODS YOU CAN WEAR -
Maverick mechanician, Mortimer Graves, has come up with an elaborate device designed to protect you from deadly lightning strikes, and he swears that it's safe because he's tested it repeatedly -- on himself!
"I am pleased to announce the unveiling of the greatest invention since the umbrella," says Mortimer "The L-3 Graveshield works along the same principal as a lightning rod, but this is the first time that the technology has been applied to people instead of buildings."
Mortimer says his goal is to provide maximum protection from lightning strikes which kills 500 people and injure 1,500 more in the Carzala each year.
The Graveshield allows the wearer to absorb lightning as it strikes. When lightning hits the rods attached to the wearers head, it travels along a copper wire to a backpack the user wears. The backpack stores the lightning bolt for later use. Once full the backpack is exchanged for an 'empty' backpack.
Mortimer says he's been hit by lightning several times while testing the device, but each time, his invention has kept him safe. "In 15 tests performed over the past year, the L-3 Graveshield has performed flawlessly. I am very fortunate to be able to stand here and tell you this because there were a couple times when I really thought I was a goner."
Asked what it feels like to be struck by lightning, Mortimer responds, "It tickles! It's really a tingly sensation from head to toe."
Mortimer says that his invention will be moderately priced and available to the public in time the next guild meeting. "Anyone who wants a Graveshield will be able to afford one."
But experts from the Mechanician Guild warn that people should stay far away from this invention. "It's an accident waiting to happen," one expert says. "One of these days Mortimers inventions are going to get someone seriously hurt."
Mortimer says that will never happen. "My device is 100 percent guaranteed, unless you foolish enough to strike the backpack - they you get what you deserve. With this remarkable contraption, people will be dancing in lightning storms, mark my words."
Speculation is rife amongst the cities mechanicians as to the real purpose of Mortimers invention. The current rumors suggests Mortimer plans to use the captured lightning bolt to power his mechanical hobbit 'pleasure' women, as Mortimer is well know for complaining that they were winding down at the most inconvenient times.
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RIVER OF BEER DISCOVERED IN SUPERSTITION MOUNTAINS
A previously undiscovered natural river of beer has been found deep in the Superstitious Mountains.
The existence of the Krautlager River, as it has been named, came as a pleasant surprise to most Dwarves as it is not even charted in maps of their legendary Mountain range. The river of beer is believed to be the result of a fluke of nature.
Fresh water from an underground spring flows down a riverbed surrounded by wild hops and barley plants. As the plants are periodically washed into the river, fermentation eventually occurs. The result is a delicious golden lager, which bubbles through the woodlands.
Dwarves from around the world have been making pilgrimages to the Krautlager River since its discovery earlier this year. Many of these beer pilgrims have bathed in the beer believing it has magical powers that can increase their consumption and tolerance levels.
Others just want to drink from the river rather than pay to drink in a traditional Dwarven pub. The existence of such a river has long been a legend in parts of Bavaria. Traditional Dwarven folklore is filled with beer river references, and dwarven schoolchildren are taught about beer rivers from an early age.
"This is the discovery of the century," explains renowned Dwarven historian and alcoholic WordSmith.
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ORCS STINKY FEET CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE!
That's the word from researchers here - and at Alfheim famed Health Clinic - who proved in concurrent studies that orc foot odor is not just repulsive, it's dangerous.
"Inhaling the unique vapors of an orcs sweaty feet damages brain cells with every breath," said Dr. Randirardhon, lead healer at the Elven Health Institute of Alfheim.
Test scores of our subjects dropped dramatically as exposure to stinky feet increased, the more aromatic the feet, the more devastating the effects. "After inhaling a particularly pungent sample, one young elf had difficulty recalling his name," Dr. Randirardhon reported.
While awareness is half the battle, families can ward off diminished brainpower by following these specific suggestions:
- Orcs should be regularly sprayed down. Regular scouring of your Orc will help remove the pungent odor.
- Orcs feet should be removed. With the source of these foul toxins removed, they will not present a danger to people.
- The last, and most obvious method, is to ensure that all orcs are removed and banned from to a distance of at least a 100 miles from Alfheim.
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HOW TO TELL YOUR PARENTS YOU'RE PACTED
Coming out to your parents can be one of life's most painful experiences for a apprentice to the powers of darkness. Or it can be an opportunity to build an even stronger bond with your folks, one based on honesty.
Here, from top experts, are nine tips for telling your parents you're pacted: CHOOSE AN APPROPRIATE TIME AND PLACE -- While you may feel you're sharing wonderful news, a joyful event such as your siblings wedding may not be the best time to spring the truth on your family. Your parents may blame you for "ruining" the occasion, and your sibling may resent you for grabbing attention on her special day. PLANT CLUES BEFOREHAND -- If you brag about your collection of desiccated hearts, gab about how funny fresh blood tastes and was and buy a sacrificial dagger, your parents will be 75 percent sure you're pacted before you calmly confirm the obvious. TELL SIBLINGS FIRST -- Let a sibling or grandparent in on your little secret first. That way, when you make your announcement, they won't freak out. Instead, they'll act as your allies, telling your folks while munching a drumstick, 'What's the big deal?' ATTEND A "COMING OUT" EVENT --Visit a demon-friendly place; the local cult meeting. After bringing a few tankards, you can note casually, "You know, I'm pacted, too." LET THEM DOWN EASY -- You might try initially telling your parents that you're a member of the 'Adventurers Guild', that doesn't sound "as bad" to many folks. DON'T BRING ALONG YOUR FAMILIAR -- There will be plenty of opportunities down the line to introduce your significant other. A "double-whammy" approach will only open up your familiar to hostility. BE PREPARED FOR BONFIRES -- Don't expect your parents to jump for joy when they learn their child is pacted. Building of bonfires are normal reactions. Just sit quietly and let them blow off steam. DO YOUR HOMEWORK -- Come prepared with a list of successful demon worshipers of the past, also explain how much power the pacted can accumulate - this will pique your parents' curiosity. STAND YOUR GROUND -- Don't knuckle under and admit what you're going through may only be a phase. And never agree to any shriving to straighten you out.
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STRAP DOWN YOUR HOBBITS WITH: HOBBIT STRAITJACKETS
Frazzled party leaders have discovered a new way to keep their troublesome hobbits from driving them nuts -- by putting them in straitjackets!
Exasperated party leader ??? has invented the miniature restraints, originally to help subdue her rowdy hobbit Tussock.
"Tussock was into everything and he just wouldn't mind me," ??? recalls. "One night, after a particularly bad day, I told my party that I'd had it. I said, 'The only way that hobbit going to keep his hands to himself is with a straitjacket.' Then I thought, 'Why not?' "
??? admits her hobbit party member was initially none too pleased to have his arms bound and his movements restricted, but he soon got used to the new garment.
"He cried a lot at first and put up quite a fuss," she says, "but I think now he really enjoys it. He rolls around on the floor, trying to get up without his arms for support. He makes a game out of it."
??? also found other party leaders initially skeptical about her unorthodox method of restraining her hobbit, especially when she took Tussock out in public.
"We got a lot of stares at first when I'd take Tussock in his straitjacket to the Guild," she admits. "But soon Party Leaders who also had problems with their hobbits began to approach me and ask about getting straitjackets for their problem part members."
Before ??? knew it, she was in business. She now manufactures and distributes her own line of hobbit straitjackets throughout Carzala.
The majority of ???'s customers couldn't be happier with the results of her stylish straitjackets, which come in a variety of eye-catching colors and sizes.
Other party leaders sing the praises of the product. "Now Pent doesn't grab everything in sight."
But not everyone approves of putting hobbits in straitjackets. Senior guild member Bozo says, "This can't be healthy for any hobbit, being restrained in this manner. It sends a terrible message to parties."
Despite the criticism, ??? plans to continue selling the jackets. "As long as there are unruly hobbits," says ???, "there will be party leaders like me who will need to restrain them."
??? = name of Tussocks party leader.
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Astrology Corner
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Sir Jas Randles, guild astrologer at The Royal College of Astrology answers letters from guild members.
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I kill rabbits - what does it mean?
I have had a recurrent nightmare for almost a year. It always follows the same pattern where I have starved or killed rabbits. When I find them in their hutches I feel the urge to fest on their bodies
I had rabbits as a child but they lived happy and healthy lives. This dream occurs on a regular basis and leaves me feeling on edge all day afterwards
Sam the Orc
Jassays...
I dont need to look to the stars to answer this question, I believe the answer to this is obvious - you are an orc, O-R-C. Orcs arent pacifists, its not in their nature. Stop resisting and embrace your true self.
I recommend regular visits to Orc taverns, buy yourself a great axe and chase down a few hobbits. - this will resolve your inner turmoil.
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Demon eyes
What does it mean when you dream you can see demon eyes in the corner of a dark room - but you know that they are more afraid of you and they are being cautious?
Grendel Beetleknox
Jas says...
This is an interesting dream. You may think that this is quite a common dream but I have not heard of anything quite like this before. Dreams of eyes watching are pretty common though - and in these cases such dreams are usually to do with being watched, being found out, somebody knowing a secret about you.
The stars tell me the secret you are hiding is the fact you are pacted. Your have hidden you alignment with the powers of darkness from your friends and the guild and, over time, have gathered much power. Pacting is a dangerous path to tread, particularly now that people knwo what you hiding, but the dangerous you have attracting the attention of other evil powers. I recommend you become fully pacted before your receive a late night visit from a succubi.
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Rainbows
Hi Jas I wonder if you can help me. I keep dreaming about colourful rainbows. My dreams are often vivid and full of bright colours. Can you tell me what this means?
Sau Rus
Your not really cut out to be a necromancer, have you thought about joining a less taxing college? Consider becoming an illusionists, or perhaps a Solar Celestial. Maybe a complete career change is in order, youll find knitting very relaxing?
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Letters
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Attention
A young member of our flock has being taken advantage by a man I believe is known to many of you, Arnaud de Montfort Esq. He plied her with cheap baubles and empty promises and abandoned her once she became in the motherly way.
Her father is offering his prize ox as a reward to anyone that can return Arnaud to our village, having being thrashed to within an inch of his life, where he will join this mistreated young woman in wedlock.
If you have knowledge of the whereabouts of this scoundrel and philanderer forward this information to myself at the village monastery.
Father Rembrant Village of Raft-Haven
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Attention Mercenaries,
By the grace of you Duke we are opening a permanent stronghold in your fair city of Seagate to further protect against the scourge of the Dark Circle. If has come to our attention that your mercenary guild is populated by filthy, dirty, corrupt worshipers of demons and undead.
We intend to cleanse your city of such filth, and have conducted interviews with citizens of Seagate, seeking the following member of your guild for confession of their demonic and undead affiliations:
Bainbridge The Undertaker, Balode, Blackrod, Doroin, Dramus, Faith, Ned Tanner, Neroc, Retsum, Sabbath, Sau Rus, Scorpion
If the above listed believe they have been misrepresented as corrupt worshipers they should immediately approach us to clarify their situation.
We offer a plenary indulgence in addition to a reward of 100sp to any individuals that capture and deliver us these corrupt, foul beings. We seek them alive, if possible, so they can confess and repent prior to their mortal coil expiring.
Any information about the above individuals, or any other depraved demon or undead worshipers of your guild, are welcome. All informants will be treated with complete anonymity.
We will have a detachment of knights station outside your mercenary premises at your next meeting so we may take the corrupt worshipers into custody and bring them to the light.
Francis de Sales Gabrielite Commander Redemption Calvary
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Dear Seagate Adventurers Guild,
Your contact information was referred to me by one of my trusted contacts, whose name I am not at liberty to compromise. I would like to approach you with regards to a profitable Business Proposal, regarding the transfer of TEN MILLION SILVERS into your guild vaults. For reasons I am sure you will appreciate, I ask that you keep this commutation confidential, and avoid it falling into the hands of any agents of the Church that may be operating in your area.
My name is Groc, and I am the representative of War-master Bone Breaker, the recently assassinated leader of the Sea of Grass Widows Support Group. If you have been following the events over the last few years, you will remember the big scandal that took place when Bone Breaker, was brutally stabbed following his visit to the Widows home.
You see, my client had a lot of enemies who envied his great secret fortune. It was they who removed him in the hope to gain access to the money accumulated over his long career as a Widow Supporter. Fortunately, there was too much scandal in the aftermath of Bone Breaker's murder for them to move openly to claim his money. This gave me and a few trusted people who were still loyal to my former master, an opportunity to move the money into a secret dwarven mine.
While we managed to do this without the vicious and corrupt Church Knights becoming aware of our activities, the money cannot remain in this mine, because at the end of the year, all mines will be investigated by Drarven Taxation Bureau, where our enemies have informants in their pay. The only option available to us is transferring the money to a trusted partner who is a foreigner and cannot be linked to Bone Breaker in any way.
The name of your organisation was brought to my attention by a very trusted contact in Seagate, I have been authorized by my partners to contact you with this Proposal. All that would be required of you is the use of your bank account to perform a transfer of TEN MILLION SILVERS. Once the money has been deposited, one of Bone Breakers other Representatives will contact you, at which point you will release SEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND SILVERS of the amount into his custody.
I am authorized by my Client's estate in the Sea of Grass to offer you the remaining TWO MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND SILVERS as a compensation for your services. Because the money would only need to be in your vaults for a few days, and your danger of being discovered by Church Knights is minimal, we believe the commission of TWENTY FIVE PERCENT (25 %) to be more than generous.
Once I have received Your consent and vault keys, I will be able to make a claim under your name with the money will be moved to Your vault no later than within SEVEN (7) days from the time I receive your response.
I am at your disposal to answer any questions you may have about this Transaction, so don't hesitate to contact me at the docks, just ask for Groc. I eagerly await your reply, though I must ask you to treat this matter with great secrecy, lest you betray me and my partners to the agents of the Church.
Respectfully Yours,
Groc
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Other
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Know Your Enemy.
The guild Council has decreed that we publish profiles of known guild enemies to ensure members are informed of the threats that they may face while adventuring. This seasons issue will detail Prince Orion
Name: Prince Orion
Known Allies: Necromancer of Masader The Black Dragon Bune A Red Dragon Another black dragon The Drow which live around Argon's Watch
Abilities: Vampire, Greater Summoner and may know some Mind Magic
Located: His fortress is in the Dark Circle on the edge of the Gatar Depression on a high pinnacle of rock surrounded by swamp. The fortress contains a Ring of Souls which gives Orion much of his power. A magical effect causes a Noxious Vapours to envelop the fortress and the surrounding countryside. This effect causes nausea, reduces vision to around 20-30 feet and suppresses the effect of Mind, Fire and Necromantic magics. The undead could see through the mist. Warnings In the past attempting using any form of precognition, astrology, locate, divinate etc. in activities involving Prince Orion will cause has resulted in instantaneous death of the investigator.
Activities and Interactions: Was discovered wandering around in the Guild grounds a few months before the kidnapping of guild council. Believe to be directly involved. Evidence points to Orion being one of the instigators of the Dark Circle. High level Guild Party rescued council member Wegan from the Price Orions fortress - scribe notes available.
Threat Assessment: Extremely High.
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Are you really a necromancer? You get 1 point for each true answer 1. Can you name every cemetery in the city. 2. You believe vampires are misunderstood. 3. The smell of Orcs no longer bothers you. 4. You know grave diggers on a first name basis. 5. You have abused or taunted the church knights. 6. You enjoy long walks during the night. 7. You enjoy the company of quiet, lumbering friend. 8. You try to convince people The Dark Circle is not such a bad place. 9. You believe raising the dead isnt evil. 10. Ghouls have right too!
How did you do?
0: Your a hobbit arent you. 1-3 Your an orc 4-6: Your a confused Dark celestial or an inexperienced necromancer. Try spending more time is cemeteries. 7-9: Congratulations you are a necromancer. Prince Orion would be proud of you. 10: Your the perfect necromancer. 11+: This is an impossible score. But duplicity is an admirable trait in Necromancers.
