Object Delivery

Summary

Adventure: Object Delivery
GM: Stephen
Season: Jul 1995

Party

Scorpion!, human namer, played by Anna, scribe
Balode Solgraf the goblin, mind mage/ fighter, played by Eamon
Visconti Elf air mage, played by Derrick
Keri Human wicca, played by Noel
Jade dwarf thumper played by Rachel
Sir Agrivane human thumper, played by Francis
Scorcher orc fire mage played by Zane

Employer: A man with no name
Mission: Hired by man with no name to reposition a heavy object to a certain address. In course of mission, while avoiding or dealing to complications (such as pirates), Jade forms a pact with a deity which makes the delivery easy.
Original Scribe Notes: Media:Snau9604.zip

Scribe Notes

Nb: the following are not scribe notes, but the text of what Scorpion told guild security as the debriefing after the adventure, as required by the employer.

30 June

Have guild meeting, go to room, Scorcher causes problems for guild sec, quickly sorted out. Typical orc brilliance. Employer enters, requires strict secrecy on all aspects of (1) mission i.e. no scribe notes, no identification of employer, no explicit references to mission. Guild knows it all anyway. Threatened with divine retribution if secrecy broken. Offered 50000 sp on completion of delivery of object, proportionately less (2) (3) if we don't get it all the way. Object must not be seen to be moved. Considering substantial size could be a fucking big problem. I get scribe. Keri gets party leader. Fuck. Jade gets military scientist. Fuck. Bunny can barely talk. Split up: Visconti and Jade go to get starter packs; me, Balode and Agrivane go drinking. Keri gets some kind of vision about Agrivanes son and gives him a magical hand and a halfer for the boy to play with. Can't imagine any woman giving Agrivane the time of day, let alone a son.

1 July

Keri arranges carriage. Is given 5000 sp in gold and truesilver for expenses. Buy a whole lot of food, climbing equipment, piss and marquees etc. Visconti goes to docks to ask about barges. Doesn't get raped and finds out there's none before November, and they'll cost 5000 sp without haulers. Keri buys some nice light summer frocks that I can see right through. Yes! High point of my career. Nice ass. Leave midafternoon. Try to talk Visconti into blowing Keri's skirts up; he refuses, afraid of curse of warts or whatever. Get to nice pub. Agrivane and me go see about our agreement, Keri does some magic stuff. Watches: Balode evening even though he's still pissed as a newt, me and Jade midnight (boring: Agrivane warns her about me, as though I would be interested), Scorcher and Visconti at 3am, Keri and Agrivane mornings. 4am, smoke. Fire at end of village. Scorcher extinguishes it for free. I only stay up to see Keri in her nighty. Wee!

2 July

Get to Telgarth pm, drop carriage off at local agent = Flying Duck. Pay 240 sp for a donkey. Visconti gets a bow and some arrows off the local hunters. Balode regains conciousness. Leave for mountain. Visconti has a cunning plan: fuckwit wants to rope in all the villages to help us move the baggage. Tell him we could, but we'd have to kill them all after. Alternatives considered. Loose terrain along road, Keri sees a watcher, and Visconti sees another, possibly with a crossbow. All prepare for ambush/conflict, military scientist complete bunny. Get up to settled plateau with welcoming committee with pitchforks, picks and crossbows. Concerned that Jade represents the combined front of a mob of dwarves who are coming to poach the human iron mines. Fuckwits. Send off messenger who Visconti follows and incompetantly beats into submission then lets go with a warning. Meanwhile, Agrivane, as Lady Keri's champion, gets a challenge, not lances as hoped, but armwrestle. Bastard will be creamed. Keri steps in. Agrivane and Scorcher mouth off at each other. Stalemate with villagers, they let us go, but no sleeping in their town. Make camp out of town. Convenient eagle magically appears and tells Visconti to go west. Have dinner and move out. Jade interested in mines, Agrivane snotty about not being able to see in the dark. Poor bastard: try being blind. Find track, Visconti goes ahead: not scout; bait. Find cargo surrounded by shards. I look over perimeter as Agrivane gets religious. Fucking cold. How to move the fucking thing? Talking to winds not helpful. Hardpacked snow slopes with ice over to make them smooth and slippery would help get lump out of depression. Me and Balode settle down to rest snuggled up to a horse as someone does something about it. Keri frigid so tent temperature raised. 4am, as storm howls outside, snowbank falls on tent and gets me, Balode and Agrivane. Fucking hassle.

3 July

Go to move cargo up snow slopes. Fuck. What a fucking job. Bust a gut in spite of measures taken. Donkey buys it big time. Donkey steak for dinner. Get cargo balancing on edge and crash.

4 July

Shards collected as moneyspinner, tested on Scorcher; intend some of party to return soon to Seagate to sell them off as remainder stays with object. Shove cargo, starts sliding down mountain. Visconti jumps on for the ride. Cargo hits iced stream, picks up speed, heads towards cliff. Visconti jumps off as cargo flies over but gets caught in following avalanche, goes over and gets buried. We follow down. Agrivane attacks me with snowballs so I give him a fright. Get over cliff, no sign of Visconti or cargo (obvious where the cargo has gone, however). E.S.P detects Visconti in a panicked state somewhere near. Agrivane starts prodding the snow with lances: Visconti better be lucky. I see something buried in the snow and start to dig. Find elfsickle. Doctored with trollskin. Follow trail of wreckage left by cargo, initially difficult terrain but it flattens out eventually. Object must have gained a lot of momentum: goes straight through dirt ridge. Agrivane and Visconti have a romp in the mud. Pitch camp on high ground: expecting lots of runoff from unseasonal snowstorm.

5 July

Keep following, trail goes through more ridges. Find cargo approx. 12 miles from start underwater in what would usually be a stream. Head towards Seagate, see drowned animals where river burst its banks. Can get a barge within 5 miles of cargo. Saw smoke (burning wagons?): ignore it. Run into 10 dozen horsemen, local guard, looking for a coven of witches rumoured seen flying away from the deluge. Give them a load of garbage, told to report to the local constable.

6 July

Get to Seagate, drop off shards, 100 in all, 90 after tax. Keri organises broker for barge. Gets a barge and necessary crew for 100 sp/day + oxen + loading equipment = 1000 sp all up. I piss off to Al. Keri gives ethical salve donation to flood victims. Guild says shards have 10 week lifetime, can't identify material. Guess 100 sp each as novelty after all faded.

7 July

Ddrunk again.

8 July

Going back to cargo. Discussion on moving it last five miles. Balode makes chilli for dinner. Fuck. 2pm, my watch, hear 2-3 wolves about 1-5 miles away. Jade wakes Keri and Visconti, who wakes Scorcher and then Agrivane, who wakes Balode. Might as well all listen to the bastards. Protection from weres goes up, hear someone buy it. Calls for rescue from all except me, Keri and Agrivane. Balode being a fuckwit. Keri gets smart and holds all back. Hear two notes on a horn, then nothing. Talk to Keri about love potions.

9 July

Jade finds chewed body. Get back to cargo, see tracks of boots and heavy horse associated with it, then going towards the village. Me, Balode, Agrivane and Scorcher stay to guard it as others return to arrange log rollers.

10 - 12 July

Balode, Agrivane and Scorcher occasionally ride out to patrol. I go stircrazy so Balode gives me some interesting drugs. Agrivanes horse throws a shoe. Wee.

13 July

Agrivane on patrol sees 12 mounted men heading towards statue, gives three blasts on horn. Me and Balode make ourselves scarce. Well armed militia or poor knights. Balode and Scorcher scarper, I stay to observe. They come in cautiously, check out camp with their rangers, then call for us to come forward. Agrivane sneaks in and observes from the other side of the stream. My simulacrum gets noticed, so I drown it and reproject. They give up looking for the body eventually, put eight on watch and three with one other in leather go look at the cargo: they seem ignorant of what it is. I slope off to Balode and Scorcher, tell them the story. Agrivane takes his time getting back. That night head downstream and find the others coming back.

14 July

Agrivane wants to return, Scorcher wants to go downsream looking for barge which Balode says is late. Consider poisoning riders. Me and Agrivane go back, find camp recently deserted. Scroll in tent: to whoever has camped by the stream at 12 July, the Earl Asperitis commands you to come before him at the earliest opportunity to explain your doings here. Agrivane uses it to wipe his arse. Evening the barge gets to Balode and Scorcher. They grab the oxen and move towards us.

15 July

Oxen arrive midday. Cover cargo, start hauling, make 1 mile before camp. My watch, Jade sees something like a dragon or an abnormal cloud approaching following the trail of the cargo. Reckon there's a difference, myself, but wake Keri to get her opinion. She starts putting on armour so we wake the rest. Not that they can do anything. All hide as it approaches. Is a cloud that zaps the cargo with an enormous bolt of lightning. Agrivane, who was hiding under a bit of it is zapped too. Ha! Cloud disperses, Balode puts Agrivane and the logs out. Theory: lightning is to recharge object or uncover it (tarp is wasted). Small cosmetic change to cargo.

16 July

Retarp cargo, move it 2 miles. Lots of bickering, Balode gets wasted.

17 July

Agrivane sees a deer, Scorcher kills it. Get cargo to barge at 6pm. Pull barge up to high bank and I start digging a ramp down to barge level. Completely slutted with the shit of moving the thing. Finish ramp. Offer Keri 25 sp to sleep with me, she refuses. Shit.

18 July

Get cargo on barge. Yay. Me, Balode and Agrivane bathe. Agrivane tries to force Scorcher to bathe, getting tense so I try a clean cantrip and backfire. Scorcher gets snotty and I don't give a shit. Keri steps in and makes an unhappy truce. Jade notices slight cosmetic change to cargo fading: decide it means the lightning was to charge it. Take precautions for it happening on board the barge. Get most down river.

19 - 23 July

Hear the death toll for the unseasonal weather is approx. 80, mostly miners. Who needs them? Do training with Balode and Agrivane in hand and a halfer, which I'm no good at, and battleaxe. Go stircrazy, fight with a sailor, Keri gives us the word so me and Balode get wasted. Agrivane gets tossed at dice and cards. Do 75 miles, then weather turns bad.

24 July

Storm: stay moored. Visconti sticks a bouy marker on the cargo in case it goes overboard. Smart elf, could go far. Giant wild pig attacks us all on beach, gets stuck into sailor. Me and Balode climb a tree while the others prepare and Jade charges! Unbelievable. Fucking bunnies. Taken out with lots of magic, then lots more magic spent on sailor. Fucking charity organisation. Have a beach party, with lots of hot pork. Tusks go into party treasure.

25 July

Level of storm magically dropped, but decide to stay in place. Visconti asks the winds if the storm is natural, hears it will end tomorrow, then gets them to blow Keri's skirts up. Getting to like him. More training, then go snake hunting with Balode and Scorcher. Don't find anything. Bored. Balode makes a catapult.

26 July

Storm broken, load everything including catapult and take off. Go 20 miles. Good. Visconti disappears with the captain. Surprised? I tell Balode about Al.

27 July

Visconti sends birds out to check for suspicious storm clouds of the kind that would recharge the cargo. Come back reporting storm moving across bay. Move toward land, then gulls report a black sailed ship approaching. Galley with oars and sail 1 mile back, not Destiny or Jabaku. Decide to head for storm leaving spots of calm and a darkness beastie behind. Put air mage general counter on and Balode gives me a force sheild. Someone suggests Scorcher goes along the rope to one of the tugs, so he suggests they "swivel on this mid digit until you squeal like two pigs on a honeymoon". Like it. All prepare and take cover behind cargo. Balode shoots the captain and the helmsman. Nice. See approx. 12 fighters and 20 sailors. Visconti unloads the nets in the hope of snarling oars then someone shoots at him so the sailor he patched up throws his chest in the way and dies. Fuckwit. Pirate catapult fires anti-rigging shot, takes out tug (not Visconti's). Cut it loose, but other not managing well alone in heavy seas. Balode and Keri picking off fighters, Visconti gets hit. Then we fire off fireballs, puts the wind up them a bit. 9 - 10 fanatics left by the time they catch up and throw grapples. They board us, I try to board them and land in the drink. Fucking typical. While slowly drowning others beat up pirates, getting some hurt themselves. Pirate captain boards and attacks Keri, who's unseen, so she jumps overboard and Balode takes him on. I get hit by the barge and stunned and go under, then recover. Keri boards the pirate ship, where one pirate is trying to separate the vessels. Balode takes out the captain. Agrivane boards the pirates. I finally get to the barge where Balode eventually pulls me on. Fuck I hate boat melee. Agrivane gets mobbed so he vomits all over the baddie then tries to find a rope and grapple to reconnect the vessels. None to be found in the entire deck of a pirate ship in a boarding action, so I try to fix one on the barge. Pirates get hit by some nasty curses. Someone on an almost empty deck stumbles into Keri and reveals her. Shit. Grapples miss. Shit. Balode strips then heals the captain and I manacle him. Agrivane jumps overboard as first mate grabs a convenient crossbow. Jade throws the grapple and gets it so the mate shoots at her. Balode then shoots him, but he has enough presence of mind left to cut the rope anyway. Fuck. Try compel, but they move out of range so turn it on captain and backfire. Fuck. Bring him around and he tells me to let him go. Need to do it, so start arranging ransom. Offers 10 000 sp and a pass in good faith. Says he and his crew of die-to-the-last fanatics were just a random act. Need to tell him what's under the tarp when he asks. Couple fireballs follow retreating pirate ship, making good time considering annihilated crew, injured mate, ship damage and heavy seas. Get to shore, heal up, need to feed captain when he asks, sleep.

28 July

Go and kick captain in the head. Divination on captain shows recent spells from Wicca, Earth, Celestial, E&E and Namer. Check his gear: silver ring rank 6 Witchsight x2; signet ring = luck on water (better swimming, less storms etc). Keri gives latter to me for duration. Big joke. Evening, large black boat pulls into bay on a calm spot amid the storm. They send a boat and exchange ransom and passage for captain. Need to fix tug.

29 July

Fix mast. Yay. Keri and Balode fix an impressive meal.

3===0 July - 6 August===

go 67 miles past flat swampy land. Fucking bored so get drunk and fight with Scorcher.

7 August

sit it out; bad weather.

8 - 10 August

24 miles. Da whale: animal intelligence, best motivator = instincts. Fuck. Everyone going stircrazy. Agrivane fighting with the captain. Can't stop grinning. Keri, Agrivane and Jade get hypnotised to enjoy the trip, so don't believe anything the fuckwits tell you about it.

11 August

go 6 miles, get to river mouth. Decide to send damaged tug ahead with Keri, Visconti and Agrivane (of the opinion that these fuckwits are socially acceptable) to check out delivery instructions. Jade wants to go to so gets Keri to take her beard off. Keri thoughtfully removes every hair except for her brows, lashes and head hair, the latter of which she cleans and colours red. Doesn't look too bad under all that hair. Say they'll be back by noon tomorrow with lots of alcohol. They leave. They get eventually to the docks where there are occasional guards. Told to go to the gatehouse where they take names, places of origin and tell them to give up their weapons. Decide to leave their weapons on the tug. Told there is a death penalty for weapons, use of magic, discourteousy to clerics etc. Note there are two laws: civil and church. Church knights in white on horses, same rank as priests robed in white, outrank those in brown, outranked by those in black. Get to destination, shown to waiting room. Told the one they asked for is still away. Agrivane and Jade take a tour of the venue, see big gates at the back designed for deliveries. Unfortunately not preceeded by a hill. Fuck. Jade decides to learn to pray, reckon it's the only possible answer now, too. Agrivane gives some money away. Must be the stress. Keri and Visconti go to organise alcohol and lodgings for all of us for a week. They must be mad: imagine the rest of us in a town like that for a week. Fuckwits. Learn that most of the knights are out looking for a coven of witches who have stolen a holy relic known to be a statue of an animal. Luck to them. Returning to us, Visconti has a plan involving changing the attitude of the church by making bogus commandments to associate with an apparently miraculous event. Jade agrees, but thinks(?) that the associations should be completely non-violent and fluffy. Might as well command that they all engage in homosexual acts. Come to think of it... Anyway, they eventually get back to us and give us the alcohol. Party time. Agrivane suggests the commandment "Crush the weak, the strong shall inherit the earth". Reckon he's gonna have problems. Description of terrain miserable. Fuck. Consider possibilities, Balode and Argrivane set on us delivering the fucking thing to inside the venue. Reckon they're fucking mad. See Jade praying for guidance, get idea to use her as an inside dwarf to open the doors for us. Seems she's getting a bit fanatical. See storm approaching fast. Fuck. Starts straining against anchors, so we decide to cut loose and ride it. See big ugly cloud approaching. Me, Visconti and Scorcher abandon ship onto a tug. I fall in, of fucking course, so Visconti drags me out by the hair. Everyone but me thinks the storm is a miracle. I think it's a fucking nightmare. Jade starts seeing auras. Next she'll be seeing flying pigs. Horses start getting up tight so she calms them. Reckon it's the natural ability of the mad to relate to animals. Storm magically calmed in our vicinity, but area of effect rapidly decreasing. Me and Scorcher have a drink. Visconti reckons "I think the only assistance we can give at the moment is lubricate its bottom and leave it to its own devices". Balode and Jade reckon it'll go in own its own steam then start making lists of commandments. Ignore my suggestions. Seems they expect their miraculous act. Keri accompanies the horses to shore as the calm disappears. Agrivane konks Jade on the head, then heals her as she realises she's been acting strangely. Me, Visconti and Scorcher get to shore with Keri and follow the barge at a more natural pace. Ahead, 10pm, Jade starts stripping as the barge approaches the docks which have been hit by lightning and now resemble a ramp. She's looking for more decent clothes when lightning hits the cargo and it starts to move. Balode and Agrivane scarper. Jade runs over and jumps on for a free ride. Agrivane follows, and Balode, incognito. No-one around so Jade babbles religiously to herself. Cargo flattens the gates into the venue. Guards follow respectfully. Cargo parks itself in an appropriate space and winds down. Me, Scorcher, Keri and Visconti arrive. Town well battered by storm. Keri nervous of zealots so stays with horses. At the venue Jade starts converting people. Agrivane tries to set her up as the new prophet but is advised to leave as some people were rather upset about the change to the status quo and were looking at him as the safest sacrificial scapegoat. They have a go at Jade instead and get blasted for their pains. Compromise made: they happily escort the new prophet out of the city so she can take her message to the dwarves and drow. I see this and scarper as well. Me, Balode and Visconti return the barge to the sailors. Others catch us up by horse. Decide to go overland, avoiding city. Travel through night to get around city.

9 August

crash. Jade regrows her hair. Scorcher and Agrivane get hot together. Eventually sleep. Resume travel. Jade ranting so Keri and Agrivane go ahead. Jade projects her voice for their benefit. Agrivane panics, so gets deafness cast on him. I ask Keri how far she would go to keep peace in the party. Don't think she liked that. Get to trade route, avoid villages. 11am get to town and find a nice inn. Church knights seen behind so me and Balode get scarce. Scorcher loads his cross-bow and scares the natives. Other see the knights. Keri stays cool. Knights spy party. Scorcher yells the situation to Agrivane as they approach. They declare the others are witches, ride up and start harassing Scorcher. Jade goes off and manages to rescue him. The knights leave, Balode says to get reinforcements. Decide to leave that night. Try to buy a barmaid. Some hassle goes down. Settle for a whore. Balode tells Jade I have a tendency, if not satisfied, to kill girls I hire. She starts praying that I have the best orgasm of my life. Have fucking awesome sex. Leave town that night. Reckon Jade onto something so ask her to pray for accord between me and Al. Then put in requests for all kinds of ideal outcomes. Hope she remembers. Run into some church knights. Scorcher and some others gets scarce as Keri deals with them.

17 August

get to Seagate, introduce Jade to Al. All give goodbyes as Jade leaves the guild to go missioning.

These things are known by guild security, who have been instructed to fill in the details to authorised parties who make enquires:

Novitiate Joshua of the Church of the One = creator, father of all, enemy of unlife and evil, antimagic.
To the Temple of the One, with all its associated personel, 100 miles from start. Magic seen as the devil's work, champions almost immune to magic.
9 - 10 ton glowing statue/avatar of the One created in the miraculous circumstances of an enormous meteorite falling out of the sky on to the top of a remote mountain, then being hit the next night by an enormous bolt of lightning which shaped it into the representation of the One = strangely out of proportion lion. Made of unmarkable substance like marble shot through with gold veins that get "charged" by occasional lightning strokes and then gradually shrink until being recharged. Can be communicated with through prayer and faith. Has anti magic properties in vicinity; shards also, but lose potency over time. Glowing stone possibly dangerous in close contact.